Toxic Zombies, 1980

 

An opening scene reminiscent of Night of the Living Dead, with a musical score eerily similar, (and similarly eerie,) to that of Halloween, caught me right away! I was in. Here’s what happened next. 

A coupla’ shotgun totin’ dudes in a blue Peugot wagon park on the side of a forest road. They then stumble across a young woman giving herself a spongebath out of a bucket in the woods. They identify themselves as Federal Marshals and promptly blow her away.

The young woman’s cohorts show up and quickly kill the marshals. It turns out that she was a member of a group of illegal pot-growers harvesting their weed grown on federal land, (I guess nowadays, they’d be referred to as ‘Narco-Terrorists.)

Meanwhile, back at H.Q. the higher-ups are worried about their missing agents and even more worried about not nabbing the weed-growers. They make the decision to hire a local crop duster and spray the area in question with a highly experimental new pesticide.

There’s your “Annnd there it is” moment.

Shortly thereafter, crop duster and crop dustees show signs of sickness and exhibit behaviors of general homicidal unpleasantness.

The plot is minimal: Infect a group of people, and have them terrorize others. Zombie encounters are few, with victims being just assorted campers and passersby. 

    And the “Zombies” themselves aren’t really Zombies per se. They aren’t dead, undead, or voodoo-spawned. In fact, for 1980, they may be among the earliest of the ‘rage infected’ Z’s, (only 7 years after Romero’s ‘The Crazies,’ in 1973.)

The zombies, (for lack of a better term,) are slow and shambolic, and seemingly mindless, but will use tools such as an axe, a machete, and even torches. They are said to be cannbalistic, but their bites do not spread the illness. Also, they can be killed much the way any human can be. Their make up is minimal, too - just a few scabs, some blood stains, and an overall unkempt appearance.

The protagonists are interesting. A forestry worker and his wife going fishing trip with his brother, a couple of kids whose parents were killed by the infected, and a few assorted others. And, of course, the crop duster and his wife, (both of whose overacting I enjoyed very much!) 

        There are a few others here and there but the cast is kept small, almost definitely due to budget constraints. The characters are portrayed well enough, I can't say good acting, but not nearly as bad as what some other reviewers of Toxic Zombies have said.

Obviously, this was a low-budget production. I mean, that blue Peugot from the opening scene got used two more times in this film! So, make-up, acting, and effects all suffer from those limited resources. 

There is some gore and violence but it’s limited, and not nearly enough to warrant the R rating it boasted in the opening.

So, I used my ‘Zombie Movie Rubric' to give Toxic Zombies an objective grade. Based on budget, originality, zombies, effects, acting, et cetera, Toxic Zombies earned itself a 1.2 points out of a possible 4. Sadly, this means that I cannot recommend this movie, but, I wouldn’t say avoid it, either. It is what it is - a low-budget, 1980s, forest slasher movie. 

This movie got a lot of hate on IMDb, and much of it warranted. But I kinda liked it. I didn’t love it, and I acknowledge it was NOT a great movie, but don’t believe all the hate.

    The full-length film can be found free on a coupla' streaming services as of this writing, Plex and Roku, specifically. And YouTube has a trailer, (of course,) to convince you one way or the other.

Trailer, here: TOXIC ZOMBIES, (AKA Bloodeaters!)

The Children, 1980

 

Well, Kaufman, Hertz, and the Troma Team are back with an unique new take on a then-still fairly young genre! Oh, hey! Pun!

So, synopsis: In the fictitious town of Ravensback, Massachusetts, a school bus carrying five children passes through a noxious yellow cloud that was emitted from a haphazardly repaired nuclear plant. Result - The Children become atomic, undead, killing machines!!!

Now, before you get too excited, I should explain. Way back in 1980, Troma decided to do a 180º revamp on the Zombie Genre… Well, maybe not 180º, but a solid 90º left! 

You see, the children-zombies kill by touching. They call out “Mama,” (or whatever the intended victim’s name is,) and reach out for an apparent hug. The resulting embrace leaves the victim smoldering, and dead, and covered with what appear to be radiation burns. So, there's that.

What’s more, the dead stay dead - there is no Zombism transference.

The children-zombies ARE dead, (as Sheriff Billy proved by blasting 9-year-old Jenny through the chest without a second's  hesitation!) but retain some consciousness, as evidenced by the aforementioned calling out for loved ones, and evading and hiding when being hunted. Aside from this, they tend to move in a nice, creepy, silent-corpsey way.

And, in a very bizarre twist of events, however, they can only be killed by the cutting off their hands! Yup. You read that right, the hands.

You see, in full Zombie, hunting-mode, the children-zombie’s fingernails are black. When sleeping, dead, or ‘disarmed,’ (see what I did there?) their nails are the natural color. No notice of this was made by victims or survivors, but a show of this was made of this for the viewers' attention.

So what we get here is a very unusual entry into the genre, with the term ‘Zombies’ is used in a "well, technically,"-type of definition. The Children does display a fairly unique premise, (even if the ‘toxic waste’ thing is pretty cliché by now,) and some genuinely suspenseful moments. 

    Also, the acting was decent and no overtly stupid decisions were made to progress the story, (obviously a pet peeve of mine.) The film moved along nicely, and despite being a Troma production, the kills were mostly bloodless and gore-free. And, hey! We even get a 'Stronghold attempt' scene! 

On The Zombie Movies Rubric, The Children racked up a solid 2 out of 4 points. This may not be what your common Zombie Movies fan is looking for, but as a late-night, early 80s, hour flick, it’s an enjoyable watch.

YouTube video of the movie trailer, here: The Children

City of the Living Dead, (1980)

  Whilst in a seance, a young woman sees a priest hang himself in a church graveyard. This apparently, opens up The Gates of Hell, allowing the dead to walk again.

Soon, the young psychic, with help from a New York journalist, (Christopher George,) set out to find the town of Dunwich, where said suicide took place - ROAD TRIP!!!

The pair have only 48 hours, or until All Saint’s Day, to get to Dunwich, (the site of the ‘original Salem - city of witches and evil!’) to destroy the dead priest's body and close the gates of hell.

It is important to note that this film is NOT a sequel to Lucio Fulci’s 1979 masterpiece, Zombi, (or 'Zombie 2,' depending on where you are in the world,) or connected to it at all. City of the Living Dead, it seems, is the first in The Gates Of Hell trilogy by Fulci, to be followed by ‘The Beyond,’ and ‘House By the Cemetery.’

All of the classic Fulci elements are here, though, plenty of guts and gore, close-up eye zooms, writhing worms, and a chugging, dramatic score.

And unlike Zombi, this is not your typical undead apocalypse film, and as such, does not necessarily adhere to those conventions. I mean, yes, the titular ‘Living Dead’ are the recently deceased and do move slowly and silently, but also seem to, um, ‘teleport’  at will - much more like a ghost or spirit, - appearing and disappearing with ease.

As for the other ‘Rules of Romero,’ the eating of flesh is present, but inconsistent - and not necessarily a given. Also, zombism did not appear to be transferred through bites, but in fairness, no one was just bitten. And lastly, the undead can be killed with more than just a head shot. In fact, one Z is dispatched fairly quickly with a stomach stabbing!

So, again, this is not a straightforward walking undead movie. Despite its title, City of the Living Dead is more of a story-driven Italian horror movie with some zombie-like elements. A departure from the mainstream, yes, but it has some decent scares, decent gore, an interesting plot, and some engaging characters. 

Suffice to say, I dug it! But, as is typically the case, I needed the objective grading tool known as the Zombi Movie Rubric for a fair and unbiased evaluation.

    With its originality, great characters, decent acting a good film quality picking up where the pacing, and actual zombies let it down, City of the Living Dead earned itself a respectable 3.0 out of a possible 4.0! This equates to a pretty good recommendation with that one caveat - this is not your regular Zombie Outbreak movie. Go into it forearmed and you’ll enjoy it all the more.

P.S. 1970’s American TV staple, Christopher George, fresh off of The Love Boat and Fantasy Island, steals every scene he’s in!!!

Here is a nice High Def trailer from YouTube - CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD

The Alien Dead (1980)

    A fistful-of-nickels budget American zombie film from 1980!?! Oh, I’m in!

   So, apparently, a meteor strikes a houseboat and turns all aboard into zombies, who in turn, eat all the alligators. And when they run out of alligators, they start to eat the locals of this small Florida town. We, the viewers, tune in after all of the alligators have been missing for a couple of months, and the first resident is taken. A local reporter, a fish & game warden, and a couple of police, (pronounced PŌ-lice,) investigate as incidents increase in frequency.

    What we get from this is a snapshot of small-town redneck Americana on par with Boggy Creek, (minus the budget and acting skills.) Some of the accents are amazingly horrible, but they’re dialogue seems genuinely swamptrotting, hillbilly lingo, and as convincing as one can expect when recited by actors of the stature of non-professional-bordering-on-terrible (with the exception of Buster Crabbe, in his last role, as the hard-nosed sheriff.)

   Weak premise, bad acting, and amateur special effects aside, this is a surprisingly straight-forward and easy story to follow. The misleading, (and frankly, stupid,) name, ‘The Alien Dead,’ only implies that the undead were caused by the meteor. No aliens were employed in this film whatsoever! This is a strictly a zombie movie.

     And those zombies here are mostly Romeros, (slow moving, and flesh eating,) but no transference of zombism by a bite was shown, and a zombie was killed but a speargun shot through the chest, so the Rules of Romero are not firmly followed.

      Also, these are semi-sub-aquatic zombies, reminiscent of those Nazi zombies in 1977’s ‘Shock Wave,’ (on which The Alien Dead’s director/screenwriter Fred Olen Ray also worked!) This does make for some fairly bloodless kills, but the movie does not fear going for some attempt at gore.

    And HOLY MOLY!!! Bonus points for being the first and only zombie movie for a ‘death by fro-comb' scene!

    Filmed on an incredibly low budget, (allegedly $12,000.US dollars,) and went straight to drive-ins or VHS, The Alien Dead had bad acting, (again, except for Buster Crabbe!) bad special effects, a weak explanation for the outbreak, unengaging characters, poor film quality, and was clearly aimed at fans of recent late 70s zombie films, but somehow, despite all of these flaws, (or who knows, maybe because of them,) I enjoyed this movie a lot. The corny yokels with their redneck dialogue being overacted by Acting 101 dropouts somehow… worked for me. And I would rate this higher than the score it received when held up to my Zombie Movie Review Rubric - That heartless device scored it at a 1.2 points out of a possible 4. And maybe it deserves that grade, I mean, it WAS really bad. But I liked it!

Check out this YouTube trailer for yourself:

 THE ALIEN DEAD

Hell of the Living Dead, (1980)

Also known as 'Visus,' 'Night of the Zombies,' 'Zombie Creeping Flesh,' and 'Zombie Inferno.'

A tissue-thin plot about a chemical plant leak in Papua New Guinea, a squad of very unprofessional Special Ops, and a couple of reporters ties together this early Italian zombie gore-fest.

The acting is poor, get that straight. Much too much time staring in horror as attacks occur, (so as to allow the maximum amount of biting, blood and guts, no doubt,) and screaming but not trying to escape when being attacked. Also, the insertion of a metric ton of stock jungle footage is distracting, (especially the inclusion of African Elephants!)

Those are the cons. As for the pros, well, this movie adheres quite strictly to the laws of Romero. 1) They are reanimated dead, and move and act accordingly, (or as Sheriff McCelland in ‘Night of the Living Dead’ said, “Yeah. They’re dead. They’re all messed up.”) 

2) They attack and consume the flesh of the living. 

3) The virus is transferred through bites and fluids.

And 4) They can only be stopped by a shot to the head.

Well, alright! A little respect for canon.

Also, mood is created in part by the music of the band Goblin, the same progressive rock band that created the soundtrack for Dawn of the Dead, which is why the score sounds so familiar. And good.

Sure, the inclusion of cannibals was a bit gratuitous, so was the naked anthropologist, but this is just nit-picking. 

So, in summation, a very enjoyable, early entry to the zombie genre. Oh, sure. There are many WTF!?! moments here, but some good scares, and good zombie moments.

On my Zombie Movie Rubric it scored a generous 1.77 out of a possible 4.0 - dragged down by terrible acting and weak story, but buoyed by good scary bits, nice zombie action/gore and being a true horror film in the classic sense. 

Really LONG Youtube trailer here: HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD 

Cool cover art, too!

Burial Ground, (1980)

AKA ‘The Night of Terrors,’ ‘Le Notti del Terrore.’

     So, a professor, researching some old magical rite of immortality, inadvertently reanimates a massive cemetery full of ancient Etruscans. Who promptly eat him.

   
     How’s that for gratitude!?!

    
     Shortly thereafter, a group of people arrive at a gorgeous and sprawling Italian villa to meet up with said professor and enjoy some time in the country air, blissfully unaware, (if only briefly,) of the crumbling and lumbering corpses meandering about the estate. The expected ensues.

     Ah, but these zombies are great! Oh, sure, not the make-up, (or in many cases, ‘masks’) that’s really not convincing at all. But the way they move: So painfully slowly. Extremely creepy, especially seeing such a hoard of dusty, bedraggled undead attacking in the bright mid-day sunlight early in the film.

Nice 'rising from the grave' scenes in this, too!

Ancient, crumbling and laden with writhing worms, (like Fulci’s ‘Zombi,’) but purposeful, silent, and unrelenting, (like Ossorio’s ‘Blind Dead’,) these Zs are mostly 'Romeros' in nature, (shambolic and shuffling, ‘kill the head to kill the dead,’ and zombism transmitted through bites,) but does add an element of some simple tool use, albeit very slowly!

   The living characters are nice enough, but without much, or any character development, and are as forgettable as the teenagers in contemporary U.S. slasher films. And like those unfortunate teens, the living here are dispatched in brutal and gruesome ways. Oh, yeah, and eaten, with plenty of slurping and gory gusto.

A little late-night snack.

   The fact that there is hardly any backstory or explanation for these people seems completely unimportant, because movie really has no time for it. The undead are up and attacking in the opening scene and lurking about, occasionally tearing someone into many pieces during every minute of this movie. In fact, the non-stop action of the movie very nicely balanced and enhanced the slow movements of the zombies.

   I held it up to my Zombie Movie Rubric for an objective rating and found that Burial Ground earned a solid 3.0 out of 4 points, with the pacing and the zombies doing most of the heavy lifting.

   A highly recommended entry in the 80s Italian, (English-dubbed) Zombie catalog!

   YouTube has a trailer of the originally titled ‘The Nights of Terror,’ in the Italian language. CLICK HERE! And honestly, the language barrier makes little difference. But English-dubbed copies of this baby are easy to find.

One of the many different DVD cases in which this can be found!

   I enjoyed this one a lot. One just needs to get over the zombies’ faces... And the weird-looking kid!

It is good they didn't make a real child do what this actor did... AWKWARD!!!