Follow The Dead, 2020

In the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day and March being ‘Irish-American Heritage month,’ we go to Ireland for this movie’s write-up!

In a small rural village in Offaly, Ireland, locals are hearing reports and seeing viral videos of attacks and instances of violence coming out of Dublin, the nation’s capital. As local authorities attempt to reach Dublin and recieve no response from their inquiries, suspicions and unease begin to escalate.

We meet Robbie. A mild-mannered 30-something year-old plodder who left his police officer wife in Dublin to take care of his family. His family currently consists of his Internet-influencer wannabe sister, Liv, and two layabout, wisecracking cousins, Chi and Jay. The four millenials share a house together.

With tensions rising regarding the news, (or lack thereof,) from the city, a community meeting is held to decide on a course of action. Unfortunately, no one is sure what is happening and speculations include terrorists and/or a cultural revolution, (and, well, a zombie outbreak, although this seems the least considered possibility.) 

The residents are divided. The village leaders are asking for cooperation with the gardai, (Irish police force,) in preparation for what may come, But others, dissatisfied by the economy and their own standings, are hopeful that this is the revolution they’ve been awaiting. These ones call to stand alone… together.

Divisions intensify. The opposing idealogical factions clash, threats of violence and infighting incidents increase in frequency, and eveyone is too busy to notice that actual zombies have arrived.

The setting and dynamics of the living takes up the entire first 2/3s of the film, with zombies appearing, (not counting those viral videos,)  not until the final act. This can make some feel that the movie is slow paced, but the building of tension works well and how people react to said invisible perceived threats plays a large role in the movie.

Once the dead finally do show up, they seem to adhere to the ‘Rules of Romero’ fairly strictly. Shambolic, flesheaters that need head trauma to stop them. Although no attention was called to the transmission of the virus, trasmission did occur somehow. My biggest complaint about the undead is the relative scarcity of them. An increased Zs screen time would not have gone amiss. 

The living characters are interesting and well-developed with enough humorous elements to have ‘Follow The Dead’ misclassified as a ZomCom, (‘zombie comedy’ for those outside the know.) In truth, the humor is just the funny/witty banter and reactions found in family group dynamics like this. There isn’t any silly wackiness about the situation itself, just responses from certain characters.

Overall, there isn’t anything too original here, just an outbreak and the fear and paranoia it brings. That paranoia and the divisions it causes does create a secondary, internal threat that distracts from the undead.

Acting is decent, pacing is good, (aside from the the long, slow build-up,) and film quality and special effects are on par with any. In short, I enjoyed this. But as per usual, I held it up to my Zombie Movie Rubric to give it a grade outside of my bias, and Follow The Dead earned itself a 2.5 out of a possible 4.0. The gives it a recommendation, not just as a zombie movie, but a nice nod to Ol’ Saint Patrick himself.

And of course, YouTube has a trailer to persuade or dissuade you you one way or another! Here ☞ FOLLOW THE DEAD.

Christmas With the Dead, 2012

A strange electrical storm on Christmas Eve kills off most of the town, (including the wife and daughter of local radio station manager, Calvin. Calvin only survived because he was napping through it!

Death, unfortunately, is fleeting and wife, Ella, and little Tina are back up and walking around like the rest of the recently deceased in no time. Only now, they are flesh-nibbling zombies!

Six months go by and Calvin keeps his dead missus on a chain and feeds her dogfood, optimistic for her return to normalcy. He spends his days running errands like getting gasoline for his generator, and retrieving food from his stockpile down at the radio station. He meets G.M., another survivor who shows him how the undead respond to music. Seeing this, Calvin believes that they still retain some humanity, and decides to fulfill his promise to his now dead family to provide the perfect Christmas. In June.

And then things get weird when the duo is abducted by a religious cult who escaped from an asylum for the criminally insane. Because, of course.

Unfortunately for me, the characters weren’t overly engaging. Calvin was just a ‘plug-and-play’ person, no real personality. G.M., a bit more likable, but hardly what I’d call relatable or root-for-able. For me, as a viewer, the lack of engagement in the protagonists diminishes the fear of their plight. 

The zombies weren’t too bad. Oh, sure their make-up was inconsistent, and the overactors portraying the dead were really jerking them corpses around, but aside from growling, and little electrical sparkles in their eyes, they were mostly Romero-types. They were just the recently dead, they were shambolic in movement, (SO shambolic!) They ate the living’s flesh and transferred Zombism through bites. Also, they were killed with headshots. So, at least some faithfulness to canon. Due to this, I will overlook the weird little addition of occasional electrical eye flicker.

The zombies weren’t the only ones troubled by bad acting. Almost all of the cast, living and dead, weren’t very convincing. But this might have been a good thing, because the dialog wouldn’t have rung true on good actor portrayals. And some of the ‘criminally insane’ characters’ ‘acting’ was literally cringeworthy. I cringed. 

From the start, Christmas With The Dead really played out like low budget project, although in fairness, the image clarity was pretty good. Also, I appreciated the lack of the ‘shaky cam’ technique - So overdone. But the story dragged. I think there were supposed to be funny parts, because the front of the DVD case had a quote calling it “Hilarious, scrappy, and even creepy.” I didn’t get any of that. 

True, I went in with high hopes and was disappointed, but, I used my rubric, the ZMR, for a more objective grading tool. Through its cold and calculating lens, Christmas With The Dead earned itself a 1.55 out of a possible four stars. This puts it in a below-average classification. I had never heard of this movie before recently and now I know why. I probably would have shut this off midway through, but it’s Christmas and I was hoping for a miracle. 

Here is the trailer for you to decide whether or not to see it:

CHRISTMAS WITH THE DEAD

Outside, 2024

  Francis attempts to keep his family safe from the Zombie apocalypse in a rural Philippine town by returning to his childhood home. As he, his wife and two young sons shelter in the remote farm house, some unresolved childhood traumas resurface, and Francis starts to develop some definite 'Jack Torrance’ tendencies.

    As Francis’ obsession with keeping his family ‘safe’ grows, he boards up the old homestead and keeps everyone inside, despite his wife and sons' desire to travel north, to reported safety. Francis sees ulterior motives in their wanting to leave and even exaggerates the frequency and ferocity of the ever-lessening zombie attacks as a way to emotionally manipulate the young and frightened family.

Jack’s, I mean, Francis’, (sorry,) descent into madness is the real antagonist here. The Zombies are more of a justification for his actions. I mean, any external threat could have sufficed - Aliens, Nazis, wild animals. But Zombies were the chosen catalyst, and for that, we all win.

Those “dead ones,” although not exactly athletic, are still no slowpokes. One needs to hustle to stay ahead. But still require the head shot to dispatch, and transmit the zombism through bites. These Zs also exhibit a different and unusual habit: they repeat the word or phrase that they uttered most or last in life. The uttering of these rote vocalizations, devoid of meaning, adds a bit of dimension and individuality to the undead, and reminds us that they were once humans. It’s also creepy as hell.

Acting was fine - convincing and realistic, (amongst both living and deceased,) and special effects were decent, too. The storyline got a little muddled here and there, with some unnecessary family issues arising. Thusly, Outside’s pacing was a bit slow, I’m sure in attempts to create atmosphere, and a sense of claustrophobia. Ringing in at 2 hours and 22 minutes, however, I would have preferred a lot more walking dead encounters. But as I mentioned, Dad’s emotional deterioration was the main threat here, and well, these things take time.

So, although more of a ‘psychological thriller’ than a straight out ‘zombie horror,’ when rated with my Zombie movie Rubric, Outside scored itself a 2.33 points out of a possible 4.0. The lion’s share of points going to the Zombies, with the pacing and runtime easily costing it the most. 2.33 is still an above average score for a Z-flick. This earns it a recommendation, but one with a caveat: Outside is a time commitment. But even still, it’s a nice watch, and a decent entry into the genre!

And of course, the YouTube trailer to convince you, one way or the other!  OUTSIDE.

Wormwood: Road of the Dead, 2014

 

  

    Jumping right into the action with a zombie attack in full effect, we meet a small group of survivors holed up in a garage out in remote Australia. There is no time to get to know our protagonists except through them telling one another how they got there, with the backstories themselves being action packed. One of the men explains how he needs to rescue his sister, and they agree to armor themselves and retrieve a pickup.

The guys ‘Mad Max’-up a Toyota Hilux with tubular steel, a cage in the back, and even a harpoon gun on top. It’s fairly cool. There seems to be an issue with fuel, and through trial, error, and accident, a solution is found, (one that explains why zombies are fast at night and slow during the day!)

So, armored, vehicled, and ready to rumble, they begin their rescue mission. They believe the sister, Brooke, is holed up in a studio/shed under attack by zombies, but in reality, she has been captured by these paramilitary types who are working with a sadistic scientist type who is a right evil bastard.

The two groups encounter one another, and we learn that people with the blood type A- seem to be immune from the virus. The two factions clash. Our boys evade and are pursued. And even more action ensues!

The sister, Brooke, at this point, has revealed a skill of her own. She apparently can control the zombies with her mind to some extent. She attempts to escape captivity and her experimental treatment this way.

    How did she develop this ability? It isn’t really said. Perhaps through the stuff Dr. Evil was giving her? And for how long was this guy doing these things? Didn’t the Z’apocalypse, like, JUST start? 

Don’t over think it. Simply a plot devices. Accept it, and move on. You’ll be able to enjoy the movie that way. Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead is an action film. One with zombies, elements of horror, and humor, sure. But the ‘Action’ section is where this was filed!

The zombies, with the exception of nocturnal sprinting abilities, were for the most part  Romeros. Dead, flesh-eating, contagious, and stopped only by trashing the brain. They did screech like angry animals, though. So, 'mostly Romeros.'

Acting was convincing by both living and dead, and zombie make-up was decent. Characters were believable, and engaging, and for the most part, likable. This last part was unfortunate as Wyrmwood would kill off a character without warning. Sometimes sadly, sometimes humorously. But no one was safe!

I found this to be an enjoyable Zombie movie, and despite the questionable logic, a welcome and refreshing entry into the genre. Held up to the ZMR for a more objective rating and Wyrmwood scored itself a 2.88 points out of a potential 4.0! While this definitely translates to a recommendation, a caveat is needed: The is a certain suspension of logic required now and then. Go into this open-mindedly and you're in for a helluva ride!

YouTube has a few decent vids on it. Here is a trailer: WYRMWOOD: ROAD OF THE DEAD 

Valley of the Dead, 2020

AKA 'Malnazidos.'

 

    In order to avoid being executed, a smart-assed captain is sent on a suicide mission to deliver intel across ‘no man’s land’ in a war-strewn Spanish countryside. 

Teamed with a private awaiting execution for desertion as his driver, Captain Lozano sees a plane shot down overhead and decides to aid the parachuting pilot. On their way, the two are captured by some freedom-fighters, and soon the group is attacked by the fallen pilot: dead, legless, and covered in a strange blue dust.

After surviving another attack of the undead, an uneasy alliance is formed and the group heads towards a ‘safe house’ in the woods, only to find it occupied. After a Tarantino-esque Mexican standoff, they form a slightly larger, and significantly uneasier alliance comprised of fascists, anarchists, a Russian, an American, a Muslim, and even a shotgun-totin’ Catholic nun!

Once the safe house proves to be not so safe, the ragtag collection of would-be heroes decides to find out what the hell is actually happening!

       Okay! So, the Zombies: Despite being of Nazi origin, these are straight-up Romeros. Oh sure, their Zombie make-up is minimal, but they adhere to all five of the Rules of Romero; 1) they are recently deceased, 2) shambolic and lack any intelligence, 3)they eat the flesh of the living, 4) they transmit zombism by bites, and 5) they can only be stopped by destroying the brain. Nice. Respect for canon.

The cast are both likable and relatable whatever their allegiance, and well portrayed. Oh, sure an action-Zombie-film cliche or two is peppered throughout, (casually walking away from an explosion, a gigantic full moon, badass women,) but still these work within the context of the film.

 

So, combined with decent production, good special effects and almost non-stop action, I really enjoyed this one. And apparently, so did the Zombie Movie Rubric. When held up against its 9 objective sets of criteria, Valley of the Dead, earned itself a 3.1 out of a possible 4.0 points. This is easily translated into a recommendation to watch!

I saw it in its ‘English dubbed’ version on Netflix, and I am sure Spanish speakers would prefer it in its original Spanish.

Go over to YouTube for, well, not actually a trailer, but a collection of scenes that give a good idea what to expect. VALLEY OF THE DEAD