Pontypool, 2008

  Grant Mazzie is a rebellious, big city, ‘shock jock’ radio DJ, who after getting fired from his previous gig, finds himself working the small town of Pontypool, Ontario, doing an AM talk radio program. His show consists of him riffing on his passing thoughts,  and taking phone calls from listeners - you know, the standard radio talk format.

He is joined by his producer, an assistant, an occasional guest on the show, and call-in traffic reports from “Ken Loney in the Sunshine Chopper,” (the ‘Sunshine Chopper’ being a Dodge Dart with sound effects.) And the whole show, (indeed, almost the entire movie!) is set in the basement studio of an old church.

During one fairly mundane, deep winter midmorning show, Eye-in-the-Sky reporter Ken calls in to report a disturbance of a riot of hundreds of people outside of a doctor’s office. Grant advises him to stay safe and the show resumes. 

Similar calls come in. And as reports of incidents of violence become more frequent, a pattern starts to emerge. Eventually, Dr. Mendez, whose office was being stormed, arrives and logic sorts out the origins. The dwindling radio crew must form a plan.

Let it be said, Stephen McHattie as Grant Mazzie really carries this film! His gravitas and world-weary demeanor play perfectly for the leader of this small group, and his struggle to understand the illness and come up with a way to survive it is convincing and fun to watch. All of the characters have real personalities and backstories and are quite beleivably portrayed.

The setting, a church basement, serves not only as a secure stronghold, but also provides seclusion from the world due to its lack of windows, and as the infected draw closer, both outside and in, gives the film a real sense of claustrophobia.

The zombies here are of the ‘rage-fueled infected’ kind: mindless, fast-moving and homicidal, but that is where the similarities end. The transmission of the virus is unlike any from other films of this genre - and really drops a WTF moment. 

Pontypool resides firmly in the true horror category, not the 'action-horror,' subgenre offspring of Dawn of the Dead, and so many subsequent entries to the zombie field. No guns or headstomping or copious amount of gore, just suspense, desperation, and scares.

One scene has traffic reporter, Ken, describing events unfolding around him in real time that is right up there with Quint's U.S.S. Indianapolis story... Well, maybe not. But, still, it is a great scene.

The movie isn’t without flaws, though. The source of the virus may be a bit too improbable for some to absorb. Others may find the lack of frantic action too boring. But as a scary movie in the Zombie Outbreak category, Pontypool really delivered for me. And apparently, I was not alone in this. I used my ‘Zombie Movie Rubric’ to scale this a bit more objectively and the ZMR scored it at a damned respectable 3.25 out of a possible 4.0. This translates as “definitely recommended viewing.”

But Good news! You need not take my word for it. YouTube has a trailer for it, (because YouTube has everything!) 

See it here ➜  PONTYPOOL       

#Alive, 2020

    Wasting no time on character development or atmosphere, #Alive has the entire Zombie Apocalypse, (yes, I will be capitalizing that from now on,) all taking place in the first five minutes. All is explained through television news reports watched by a young man alone at his home in Korea.

   Jun-u is a tech-savvy young millennial living alone, (well, his parents aren’t home,) in Seoul, Korea. Having woken up amidst the end of the world and the rising of the dead, he watches it’s horrors unfurl from his apartment’s terrace.

   Well, after 3 weeks or so, with food and water scarce, the loneliness overtakes him. Just as he is about to do something rash, he meets Kim - another survivor in the building across the courtyard.

Talk about the last second!!!

    While #Alive plays heavily on the loneliness theme of a Zombie Apocalypse, chase, hunt, and attacks scenes are plentiful. The gore level is present, but not over-the-top.

    The living cast, though limited primarily to the two, are both very likable and root-for-able. 

    The ‘zombies’ are more like the running infected, (see the Zombie Classification Chart,)  but convincing, and well-done. Some good scares as they zero in on their prey with some signs of residual, if rudimentary, intelligence, (ie, climbing ropes, using doors, et cetera.)

   Held up to my guiding star of objectivity, the Zombi Movies Rubric, #Alive scored better than average in most categories ringing in at a 2.88 out of 4. And although #Alive has nothing really new or innovative to add to the genre, it is an enjoyable telling of one man’s experiences. 

   In the ZMR, the category under ‘Characters,’ has a descriptor that says “fun to watch.” That is what really sums up #Alive.

   The ZMR says 2.88, but I would would have gone a little higher. So, I am gonna recommend this one. It is fun.

    And of course, here is a Youtube trailer for those still on the fence - #ALIVE

Outpost (2008)

    Ray Stevenson is hired to assemble a team of battle-hardened mercenaries to escort their mysterious money-man into the Eastern European wilderness in search of “Minerals.” Easy-peasy, 48 hours round trip. 

    Well, ‘minerals’ turns out to be Nazi Gold and the location is an old, underground  German bunker. And, shortly thereafter, unknown enemy fire from without forces the squad to hole up and fortify the old bunker.

    Soon, what started out as a very ‘Predator’-like film, (“Get to de CHOPPA!!!”), becomes a haunted house ghost story, complete with silent ghostly apparitions! 

    Then, as the inevitable siege gets setting in full-swing, FINALLY! The Nazi Zombies are tagged in!

    Oh, they may have ghost-like qualities, but these shock-troopers kill with bullets, bayonets, and even a pickaxe!

And, although these Zs seem unstoppable, invulnerable, and in overwhelming numbers, a plausible plan for defeating them is in place and hopes are high! But the time is short, and the undead have breached the bunker!

    Outpost’s action scenes are really good, if sporadic. There are periods of slow exposition and atmosphere-building, and then suddenly and briefly, some violence and gore, then back to storyline. The squad works well as a team and although there is some hamming, the mercs are convincingly portrayed. 

    The undead are, of course, Nazi Zombies, and therefore need not adhere to the Rules of Romero. Instead, at times appear as if ghosts, others, as silent soldiers following orders. There is a commanding officer Nazi Z, but he, too, is utterly silent.

    The movie setting, deep in a wilderness, surrounded by forest, and filmed in under-saturated, washed-out colors, provides great mood - very bleak and soullessly utilitarian. Perfectly befitting a clash between two armed forces in Eastern Europe.

    Yeah, I enjoyed this one, but I am such a sucker for a well-done Nazi Undead flick. If, instead, you place your trust in the cold heartlessness of maths, then there is The Zombie Movies Rubric to convince you. When held up to the ZMR, OUTPOST earned itself a 2.55 out of 4.0 points. And although that is a pretty good rating, I may’ve been a bit more generous!

Either way, if you dig your walking dead with a pinch of goose-stepping WWII evil, you should enjoy OUTPOST. 

Of course, YouTube has a trailer to further help you decide! OUTPOST

    Two sequels to follow - reviews coming soon!

 

Little Monsters (2019)

    David, a failed musician and foul-mouthed man-child, has an ugly break-up with his girlfriend forcing him to couch surf at his sister’s place. 

    To help out, he agrees to drive her five-year old son, Felix, to school. In doing so, he meets and immediately falls for Felix’s teacher, Miss Caroline.

"Shake It Off!"

    In an attempt to impress Miss Caroline, David volunteers to chaperone on that day’s field trip to a petting zoo. Seems harmless enough, yeah? Well, it just so happens that this is the day of a zombie outbreak at the nearby military facility, and calamity ensues. 

    Soon, Felix, his well-intentioned and Flying V-packing Uncle-David, and the ever-cheerful and fiercely protective Miss Caroline team up with Teddy McGiggles, a self-centered children’s television star, to fight off this swarm of undead.

This is a very charactered-driven movie. From David’s cringeworthy missteps in attempting to do the right thing, to Miss Caroline’s upbeat ukulele strumming, and even Teddy McGiggles’ self-loathing and cowardice, all combine to make these people very watchable. Especially the near-frantic focus of Miss Caroline to not only protect her class from being devoured, but also from being frightened by their situation.

The zombies are straight-up Romeros, (see Zombie Classifications Chart) and although menacing and scary, (especially to a 5-year old!) the film’s gore levels are fairly mild.

    Obviously there is blood, and biting, and zombie kills, so there IS some ‘blood & guts,' but Miss Caroline successfully convinced her students that this is all just make-believe, and the blood is “just jam… But don’t eat it!”

    Held up to my Zombie Movies Rubric and Little Monsters nabbed itself a 3.22 out four points! This equates to a full and hearty recommendation, (and very likely repeated viewings!)

    Part zombie flick, part romantic comedy, (or ZomRomCom, if you will,) Little Monsters one is far more along the lines of Shaun of the Dead than it is Zombieland, but either way, that is some good company!

    And, of course, YouTube has a number of awesome trailers - See for yourself. 

LITTLE MONSTERS 

Return of the Evil Dead (1973)

     

    Amando Ossorio’s Blind Dead are back and this time it is the 500th anniversary of when the townsfolk of Berzano burnt out the eyes of the sadistic, Satanic Templars and then burned them alive… uh, to death.

    With a whole new cast of hapless and well-eyebrow-endowed living characters to pursue, the Blind Dead rise with that same great grave-emerging scene from the original… I mean, that EXACT scene, cut and paste into this film. But What the heck! Why re-shoot it, right? It was awesome before, it’s awesome again!

    The blind, undead Templars are extremely slow moving, (except when riding their deathly steeds!) and show no signs of emotion or higher intelligence - with the exception of riding dead horses and using 16th century swords. In their filthy, grey, and decaying cowls and hooded robes, they are again the bearded skeletons of the original. 

    A few changes have been made by the way of vulnerabilities to the knights, and dispatching them is no longer impossible, but their look, movements, and completely chilling silence really convey the ghoulish and sinister feel.

Because, again, mood and atmosphere do most of the heavy-lifting here.

    That said, the scene of the mounted and sword-wielding knights doing a whole-sale slaughter in the town square really IS a gruesome delight, but still, kind of lacks the creepiness and primal-fear-inducing tone of the silent, shuffling, on-foot undead.

    I found the living in ‘Return’ to be a bit more engage-able than its predecessor. Personalities more developed, more interesting individual backstories, and making far fewer bad decisions. There is a much more linear feel to the plot, too, with a story arc that builds well and culminates more naturally. There is even a stronghold scene, à la Night of the Living Dead!

    Adding all of these factors up and measuring them on my ZMR, (Zombie Movie Rubric,) a decent rating of 2.88 out of 4 is the outcome. This equates to an above average Undead movie entry and earns a recommendation as a good, creepy, ‘lights out’ night’s viewing.

A YouTube Trailer will ensure you never forget the name: RETURN OF THE EVIL DEAD   

Tombs of the Blind Dead, (1971)

    Sadistic, medieval knights perform a Satanic blood ritual that re-animates them in 1971 Portugal… Things go downhill from there.

So, here is some story: Just as Virginia and Roger plan a romantic camping trip for two in Portugal, Virginia meets an old college roommate, Elizabeth, and ol’ Randy Roger invites her along. The jealous and frustrated Virginia jumps the train out of spite at a remote and foreboding location alone, at the abandoned medieval town of ‘Berzano.’

The brave and outdoorsy Ginny shelters in some old ruins, builds a fire, and unrolls her sleeping bag. She’ll deal with it tomorrow. But her presence has not gone unnoticed…

Now the good stuff! With an amazing grave emergence scene we get a good look at these ‘Templar’ knights, blackened and skeletal, yet mustachioed and wearing filthy and rotting cloaks and cowls. They move incredibly slowly, even for the dead, (except when riding their undead steeds, of course,) and are thoroughly and completely silent. This silence is crushing  and accentuated nicely by echoed sound effects and a background monastic chant. The result is a profoundly creepy atmosphere.

Back to the plot. When Virginia’s bitten and bloodless body is spotted by a passing train engineer, super-swarthy Roger and the continually-surprised Elizabeth, (now kind of an ‘it’s complicated’ couple,) learn through rumors, legends, info-sharing special police, and, of course, the ubiquitous ‘Resident Specialist Historian’ all about the Templars. 

And soon, our uber-Spaniard, Roger and his “just friends” companion team up with a ridiculously sweaty smuggler, Pedro, and his lusty, Gypsy squeeze, Maria, to solve “The Mystery of Berzano!” 

So, yeah, okay, the story line for the living is all over and full of holes, (Hey! Much like Virginia!!!) but the backstory to the Templars is key. It is also very original and fascinating! And the mood created by this is just awesome. Remember, this is pre-‘jump scares.’ This is all suspense and atmosphere.  

Considered by many to be Spain’s answer to ‘Night of the Living Dead.’ And it is not hard to see why. Armando De Ossorio’s ‘Blind Dead’ is fresh and unexpected. Sure, there is some gratuitous exploitation bits and bobs, but born here was a new mythos of the undead, so a lot is forgiven. Yeah, I like this movie a lot. 

Held up to my impartial Zombie Movie grading Rubric, the ZMR, and ‘Tombs’ earned a whopping 3.0 out of 4 points! Acting, characters, and SPFX take the blame for the lower points with originality, explanations, film quality bringing in the numbers.

Now, although technically speaking not a ‘zombie apocalypse’ movie, as an entry in the ‘undead-rise-up-and-eat you’ category, it is a prime contender. Not surprisingly, it spawned sequels - 3 of them, actually, (reviews forthcoming.) Each of which finding its own new element/setting to keep it fresh.

This is a highly recommended late-night watch for anyone who reads movie reviews like this one. Best enjoyed with the lights out.

It seems that most YouTube trailers show assorted scenes from the film in non-sequential order. This makes them seem more confusing than they really are. Here is one: TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD

BTW, the whole film seems to exist on YouTube as well! So, enjoy!!!

Dead Set (2008)

  Think of a TV show that you’d like to see a zombie outbreak occur during: The Sopranos? The Brady Bunch? Duck Dynasty? What about Big Brother? Well, that’s what this one is about. And it isn’t an episode or a movie, its a miniseries. Bitchin!

   For those unfamiliar with Big Brother, it is a reality show in which a number of contestants live in a custom-made house isolated fro the outside world and watched over by "Big Brother," the producers and viewing audience. A regular "eviction night" sees a contestant voted off by the viewing public and a "24-hour Live Feed" allows constant monitoring of the goings on and misadventures of the test subjects... I mean, "contestants." Originally a British program it has gone on to worldwide production and has achieved an unfathomable global following. Now you know.

   Yup. Five 30-minute episodes of Great Britain’s most popular reality show just happened to take place as the apocalypse hit. The result is simply brilliant.

   And that’s your scenario. The series starts at “Day 64” of the isolated, one-house, “social experiment” where the outside world no longer exists to the contestants and they are all caught up in their petty, encapsulated lives, completely unaware that the world has stopped.

   An employee of the show manages to escape the deluge of running snarling undead attackers onto the closed-off set and informs the hapless contestants. It takes one of the undead to break in and do some zombie-esque damage, (the kind only a zombie can wreak on the uninformed, panicky, incredulous, and self-absorbed,) to let the situation sink in. 

   The show has a great sense of pacing, ending each episode on a point of both set-up and closure, just enough of each to force you to tune in, (or ‘binge watch,’ if you happen to be a zombie film fanatic. And if you are, then welcome, Brother!) 

   The characters are both annoying and realistic, but the REALLY annoying ones are much made less-so by an obnoxious producer, (played to the suffocating hilt by Andy Nyman!) and his running commentary on them. He is so intolerant of the contestants that it really makes you feel bad for them and their lack of graces. Ingenius device. Truly.

    Okay. The zombies run. There: I said it. For those that do not know, I dislike running zombies. The dead should be dead-like: slow and uncoordinated, as George Romero decreed. Not running and growling like animals. I realize there are different schools on this, so I don’t harp on this fact. Plus, in this case, they work. This show needed the fast-paced-type of dead to make this work. Also, very convincing and gory. In essence, great zombies. Go figure.

    Heroes, villains, zombies, subplots, a definitive story line, and decent acting. It must be because it was a 'made for BBC4 TV' that this is such an overlooked gem in this country. 

    So, I held it up to the cold, grey truth of the unforgiving eye of the Zombie Movie Rubric and it was deemed worthy of a 3.5 out of a possible 4.0! Serious stuff. That puts Dead Set in the 'repeated views' and 'highly recommended' categories.

   But, If you are NOT the type who likes to own-and-loan, (or simply ‘lord over’ friends and fam,) then GOOD NEWS! The five episodes are findable and viewable on them YouTubes-things! In fact, as I was looking for a trailer for this review, I had to wade through them all to find it. (Your welcome, BTW.)

Trailer: Here ☞ DEAD SET

   Worthy of extra mention: Andy Nyman steals every scene as an absolutely intolerable bastard of a producer. Such a great character, but Davina McCall, the long time presenter of the actual show, turns in a surprisingly convincing performance as both herself alive, and herself dead and full-on zombie menace!

Yup, that's Davina McCall.