Pontypool, 2008

  Grant Mazzie is a rebellious, big city, ‘shock jock’ radio DJ, who after getting fired from his previous gig, finds himself working the small town of Pontypool, Ontario, doing an AM talk radio program. His show consists of him riffing on his passing thoughts,  and taking phone calls from listeners - you know, the standard radio talk format.

He is joined by his producer, an assistant, an occasional guest on the show, and call-in traffic reports from “Ken Loney in the Sunshine Chopper,” (the ‘Sunshine Chopper’ being a Dodge Dart with sound effects.) And the whole show, (indeed, almost the entire movie!) is set in the basement studio of an old church.

During one fairly mundane, deep winter midmorning show, Eye-in-the-Sky reporter Ken calls in to report a disturbance of a riot of hundreds of people outside of a doctor’s office. Grant advises him to stay safe and the show resumes. 

Similar calls come in. And as reports of incidents of violence become more frequent, a pattern starts to emerge. Eventually, Dr. Mendez, whose office was being stormed, arrives and logic sorts out the origins. The dwindling radio crew must form a plan.

Let it be said, Stephen McHattie as Grant Mazzie really carries this film! His gravitas and world-weary demeanor play perfectly for the leader of this small group, and his struggle to understand the illness and come up with a way to survive it is convincing and fun to watch. All of the characters have real personalities and backstories and are quite beleivably portrayed.

The setting, a church basement, serves not only as a secure stronghold, but also provides seclusion from the world due to its lack of windows, and as the infected draw closer, both outside and in, gives the film a real sense of claustrophobia.

The zombies here are of the ‘rage-fueled infected’ kind: mindless, fast-moving and homicidal, but that is where the similarities end. The transmission of the virus is unlike any from other films of this genre - and really drops a WTF moment. 

Pontypool resides firmly in the true horror category, not the 'action-horror,' subgenre offspring of Dawn of the Dead, and so many subsequent entries to the zombie field. No guns or headstomping or copious amount of gore, just suspense, desperation, and scares.

One scene has traffic reporter, Ken, describing events unfolding around him in real time that is right up there with Quint's U.S.S. Indianapolis story... Well, maybe not. But, still, it is a great scene.

The movie isn’t without flaws, though. The source of the virus may be a bit too improbable for some to absorb. Others may find the lack of frantic action too boring. But as a scary movie in the Zombie Outbreak category, Pontypool really delivered for me. And apparently, I was not alone in this. I used my ‘Zombie Movie Rubric’ to scale this a bit more objectively and the ZMR scored it at a damned respectable 3.25 out of a possible 4.0. This translates as “definitely recommended viewing.”

But Good news! You need not take my word for it. YouTube has a trailer for it, (because YouTube has everything!) 

See it here ➜  PONTYPOOL       

Severed, 2005

 

Lumberjacks must band together with environmental activists to protect themselves from the undead… Killed by toxic tree sap...

I said, “KILLED BY TOXIC TREE SAP!” Yup. Looking for all new outbreak origins, all right!

A remote Island in the Canadian wilderness is where Severed, (also known as ‘Severed: Forest of The Dead’), is set. This is where the lumber workers meet with the protesters. Unbeknownst to all involved, the timber company is experimenting with a genetically enhanced fungus that provides “old growth in trees in 1/4 of the time.”

Sadly, it also turns people into zombies. (But there’s always side-effects, right?)

Also unbeknownst, at least to the lumberjacks, is that certain more aggressive ecological demonstrators have ‘spiked’ some trees. This creates a dangerous chainsaw-related situation for a tree worker, as well as one where the genetically fungal tree sap can enter a workers bloodstream.

Whoop! There it is! Cross-Kingdom contamination! Things aim for a certain creek for all involved parties from this point onwards.

The environmentalists and the loggers then meet, greet, and get eat, until they put aside idealogical differences and work things out.

Fortunately, for us, the viewers, the dynamic between the two sides is not too preachy and does not seem to be pushing any agendas. But the power struggle once inside the fortified logging camp is very reminiscent of the military/scientists dynamic from G.A. Romero’s gravely under-rated ‘Day of the Dead.’ That is to say, delicate at best.

The scenery is fantastic! The Canadian Forest provides not only a lush and exotic setting that is beautiful to see, but also an isolation that promises desperation for those out in it. 

Points also for the undead. The zombies here ALMOST follow all of the

 Rules of Romero! They do growl and snarl and seem generally displeased with most things, but they are otherwise dead. They also eat the flesh of the living, and also spread the Zombism through bites/bodily fluids, and they don’t run. 

There are a bunch of scares and a truckload of tension, for sure, to the film’s credit. But the camerawork!!! I mean, I get that a shaky camera is meant to instill some urgency into the audience, but this is vomit-inducing! Cool down, Mr. Cameraman. We’re already on board!

Okay! Let’s throw this log the ZMR fire! 

The all-knowing, wise, and dispassionate Zombie Movie Rubric rated ‘Severed’ at a fairly decent 2.33 out of a possible 4.0. his equates to better than average, an enjoyable z-flick, and worth your time to watch!

YouTube Trailer is here: SEVERED: FOREST OF THE DEAD 

P.S. This could be the very worst time EVER to chain yourself to a tree in the name of environmental activism!

Rabid, 1977

 

A motorcycle accident outside of a remote plastic surgery center prompts an emergency experimental procedure on an otherwise terminal victim.

Some side effects ensue.

Written and directed by David Cronenberg, (The Fly, Shivers, Naked Lunch, Scanners, Videodrome, et cetera,) so a viewer should go into this knowing not to expect the expected.

So, bike wreck/medical guinea pig, Rose, (played quite capably by former adult film star, Marylin Chambers, BTW,) comes around after a month or so, with a whole new medical issue...

    And need.

In short, Rose craves human blood. Her new, (and experimental,) skin grafts have developed an unusual, um ‘appendage?’ that emergences from a new, well, ‘orifice,’ I guess you’d call it, through which she feeds on her victims.

"Armpit stinger!"

And, her attack is contagious. Those upon whom she has fed become all angry and bite-y, foaming at the mouth and irrational. Very shortly, the whole hospital is full-on bedlam.

So, Rose, packs up and blows the scene, hitting the road, all hitch-hike-y and sampling some of the highway denizens. These human ‘meals-on-wheels,’ once infected with Rose’s armpit venom, become, (wait for it…) RABID! Yeah. She’s making zombies and doesn’t even know it.

Not long after, epic status is reached and the streets of Quebec are under martial law.

This was a tough one, I won’t lie. The premise was just plain weird, but the setting, soundtrack, atmosphere, even the acting! was all pretty decent. It being an older film, (1977) it was obviously influenced by Romero’s work, most noticeably ‘The Crazies.’ (Not bad for source material!)

    Held up the a more objective grading measure, the Zombie Movie Rubric, and Rabid earned  itself 2.22 out of 4 points.  Which is fairly respectable given its bizarre starting point.

Not sure if it earns a ‘hearty’ recommendation, but I’ve seen a lot worse. (Heck! I’ve seen a lot worse this week alone!) 

    And it was good to see Marilyn Chambers with her clothes on.

Still interested? Well, here is the YouTube trailer: RABID, 1977   

And, if you have a little more time on your hands, here is the full-length death, also available on YouTube. RABID, 1977 

Dead Shack (2017)

 

    So, no outbreak, no apocalypse, just a nice cabin in the woods… and some neighbors.

    Roger is a nice guy. He decides take his two teenage kids and his son’s friend on camping trip a rustic, secluded cabin in the woods with him and his girlfriend. You know, for some quality, ‘family bonding.’ 

    For fun-loving Roger and his girlfriend, Lisa, it’s also ‘drinks and no responsibilities’-time, but the kids decide, as kids will, to go exploring the woods and surrounding area.

They come across a neighbor’s house, and Oops! What’s going on there!?! A quick peek in the window reveals all - But now they may be in danger.

No. *Spoiler* They ARE in danger.

    The rest of the film unfolds as a fairly standard cat & mouse, secluded cabin, horror film, with a sprinkling of zombies and a chuckle or two. 

    Those zombies, though few in number, seem to adhere to the ‘Rules of Romero,’ and present a real enough menace to maintain the excitement. They aren’t, however, the principle antagonists, nor, (at least for my tastes,) are they utilized or seen, enough. 

    All of the characters are believable enough, with some being really annoying. What is unbelievable is why anyone would choose to go on vacation with some of these people. 

    Not Roger!!! He and Lisa are great! I’d hang out with them! 

    Overall, the acting is pretty good, (the cast all have decent résumés, many including the television show iZombie!) and the nice, remote, Canadian wilderness makes for a great setting. The pacing is a little uneven, however, with just a bit too much time spent on teenagers cracking wise.  

    According to my Zombie Movies Rubric, Dead Shack scores a 2.875 points out of a possible 4.0, giving it a better than average rating for something different in the whole ‘living dead genre.’ 

    Personally, I found it to be an enjoyable watch. Light hearted, funny at times, scary at others. Worthy of a recommendation to sate one's 'zombie flick' hunger. 

    YouTube has the Official Trailer right here if you are still curious! DEAD SHACK 

    Oh, BTW - if, like me, you just buy up all things undead on BluRay or DVD, try not to be deterred by the somewhat average and misleading case cover pic...

         I mean, meh.

Corpse Eaters, (1974)

Alleging to be “Canada’s first gore movie,” this forgotten nugget of celluloid has a history all its own: Made in 1974 by a drive-in theatre owner to show at his drive-in, he soon sold it for $5k to Hollywood where it was shelved for 20 years, only to be found, and released in the zombie-movie-saturated 1990s by Encore Home Videos.

The movie's plot, however, is far more confusing and somewhat less interesting: Two young Canadian couples are looking for something different to do on a Friday the 13th, (instead of the same ol’ ‘go to a rock show in Bakersfield!') One of the men suggest spending the night in a graveyard, and after drawing straws, off they go.

Once there, the other guy remembers (perfectly, mind you!) some Satanic incantation and the next thing you know, (mistake number two!) they are holding hands in a circle and calling out for Satan. Such fun, eh, kids!

One thing leads to another, as 'one things' often do, (albeit after a very long, drawn-out time,) and soon, the living are being eaten by the dead. This film is yet another very early example of Romero’s ‘Living Dead’ rules: Slow and shambling dead, attack and eat the living, and the bitten become reanimated. This is a VERY low budget affair, however, and should be taken with precaution.

And speaking of precautions, before the film begins a disclaimer about the gory scenes states that an alarm accompanying a retching man in a green suit will appear just before the more disturbing scenes, and viewers with weaker tolerances should look away from the screen. I kid you not. It happens. (Check it out!)

So, the Pros and Cons of Corpse Eaters are as follows.

Pro #1: The 'dead' look pretty good for 1974. They do moan slightly, possibly gasses escaping their systems, but the make-up is above passable, dusty and grey, covered in dirt and cobwebs and moving slowly and unsteady.

Pro #2: The rising from the graves scene is among the best climbing out of graves scenes. It really coveys the effort of digging ones way through rotten coffin-tops and six feet of damp soil. I enjoyed this scene.

Pro #3: The whole thing has a great B-movie feel to it. One can imagine this at a drive-in theatre.

Pro #4: it is only 57 minutes long.

Now for the Cons.

Con #1 is so blatant that it could alone sink this tug. The pacing is so slow and uneven. 25 out of its 57 minutes nothing is going on except bad acting, (Con #2,) and really bad, illogical decision-making, (Con #3.) 

The movie had a chance to tie its opening scenes together with the party of four, for a really nice loop, but it just didn’t capitalize on it, instead opting for (Con #4,) a really abrupt, ham-handed ending that left too many things unfinished, (I am guessing the funding ran out.)

On the Grading Rubric Corpse Eaters scored a 1.875 - with those points going mostly to the Dead. Plot, characters, originality, and pacing all just dragged this low-budgeter down. 

But, HEY! Don’t believe me. It is available to watch online for free right here. ☞ 'CORPSE EATERS'

I mean, its only 57 minutes.

"An orgy of cannibalism drenched in blood color!"