Follow The Dead, 2020

In the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day and March being ‘Irish-American Heritage month,’ we go to Ireland for this movie’s write-up!

In a small rural village in Offaly, Ireland, locals are hearing reports and seeing viral videos of attacks and instances of violence coming out of Dublin, the nation’s capital. As local authorities attempt to reach Dublin and recieve no response from their inquiries, suspicions and unease begin to escalate.

We meet Robbie. A mild-mannered 30-something year-old plodder who left his police officer wife in Dublin to take care of his family. His family currently consists of his Internet-influencer wannabe sister, Liv, and two layabout, wisecracking cousins, Chi and Jay. The four millenials share a house together.

With tensions rising regarding the news, (or lack thereof,) from the city, a community meeting is held to decide on a course of action. Unfortunately, no one is sure what is happening and speculations include terrorists and/or a cultural revolution, (and, well, a zombie outbreak, although this seems the least considered possibility.) 

The residents are divided. The village leaders are asking for cooperation with the gardai, (Irish police force,) in preparation for what may come, But others, dissatisfied by the economy and their own standings, are hopeful that this is the revolution they’ve been awaiting. These ones call to stand alone… together.

Divisions intensify. The opposing idealogical factions clash, threats of violence and infighting incidents increase in frequency, and eveyone is too busy to notice that actual zombies have arrived.

The setting and dynamics of the living takes up the entire first 2/3s of the film, with zombies appearing, (not counting those viral videos,)  not until the final act. This can make some feel that the movie is slow paced, but the building of tension works well and how people react to said invisible perceived threats plays a large role in the movie.

Once the dead finally do show up, they seem to adhere to the ‘Rules of Romero’ fairly strictly. Shambolic, flesheaters that need head trauma to stop them. Although no attention was called to the transmission of the virus, trasmission did occur somehow. My biggest complaint about the undead is the relative scarcity of them. An increased Zs screen time would not have gone amiss. 

The living characters are interesting and well-developed with enough humorous elements to have ‘Follow The Dead’ misclassified as a ZomCom, (‘zombie comedy’ for those outside the know.) In truth, the humor is just the funny/witty banter and reactions found in family group dynamics like this. There isn’t any silly wackiness about the situation itself, just responses from certain characters.

Overall, there isn’t anything too original here, just an outbreak and the fear and paranoia it brings. That paranoia and the divisions it causes does create a secondary, internal threat that distracts from the undead.

Acting is decent, pacing is good, (aside from the the long, slow build-up,) and film quality and special effects are on par with any. In short, I enjoyed this. But as per usual, I held it up to my Zombie Movie Rubric to give it a grade outside of my bias, and Follow The Dead earned itself a 2.5 out of a possible 4.0. The gives it a recommendation, not just as a zombie movie, but a nice nod to Ol’ Saint Patrick himself.

And of course, YouTube has a trailer to persuade or dissuade you you one way or another! Here ☞ FOLLOW THE DEAD.

Valley of the Dead, 2020

AKA 'Malnazidos.'

 

    In order to avoid being executed, a smart-assed captain is sent on a suicide mission to deliver intel across ‘no man’s land’ in a war-strewn Spanish countryside. 

Teamed with a private awaiting execution for desertion as his driver, Captain Lozano sees a plane shot down overhead and decides to aid the parachuting pilot. On their way, the two are captured by some freedom-fighters, and soon the group is attacked by the fallen pilot: dead, legless, and covered in a strange blue dust.

After surviving another attack of the undead, an uneasy alliance is formed and the group heads towards a ‘safe house’ in the woods, only to find it occupied. After a Tarantino-esque Mexican standoff, they form a slightly larger, and significantly uneasier alliance comprised of fascists, anarchists, a Russian, an American, a Muslim, and even a shotgun-totin’ Catholic nun!

Once the safe house proves to be not so safe, the ragtag collection of would-be heroes decides to find out what the hell is actually happening!

       Okay! So, the Zombies: Despite being of Nazi origin, these are straight-up Romeros. Oh sure, their Zombie make-up is minimal, but they adhere to all five of the Rules of Romero; 1) they are recently deceased, 2) shambolic and lack any intelligence, 3)they eat the flesh of the living, 4) they transmit zombism by bites, and 5) they can only be stopped by destroying the brain. Nice. Respect for canon.

The cast are both likable and relatable whatever their allegiance, and well portrayed. Oh, sure an action-Zombie-film cliche or two is peppered throughout, (casually walking away from an explosion, a gigantic full moon, badass women,) but still these work within the context of the film.

 

So, combined with decent production, good special effects and almost non-stop action, I really enjoyed this one. And apparently, so did the Zombie Movie Rubric. When held up against its 9 objective sets of criteria, Valley of the Dead, earned itself a 3.1 out of a possible 4.0 points. This is easily translated into a recommendation to watch!

I saw it in its ‘English dubbed’ version on Netflix, and I am sure Spanish speakers would prefer it in its original Spanish.

Go over to YouTube for, well, not actually a trailer, but a collection of scenes that give a good idea what to expect. VALLEY OF THE DEAD

Zombie Games, 2020

  It’s 2021 and the Corona Virus has mutated. People are dying only to turn into zombies and attack people. U.S. President Donald Trump proposes a solution - His underground bunker, ‘Little Washington,’ can hold 250,000 people, so he creates a ‘skills-based’ competition to see who can join him in there for safety, while the army nukes the country. 

Oh, and produced, directed, and starring Linnea Quigley!

I know! Right!?! A nice original premise with a promise of something interesting. 

        Yeah. That’s the bait. The switch: This turd. The idea in the synopsis above is the only good thing about this movie.

First, the zombies: Scenes of the undead were clearly computer generated and their inconsistencies imply that they were copied from other sources. Video game zombies were more realistic looking 15 years ago! Plus the undead only really appear in the exposition "News Reel" portion at the start of the movie.

That's right! There are no zombies in the games!!!

Speaking of the games - There were only 6 contestants. Yes. SIX! They are released into wooded area where a knife, a gun, and a bottle of water are stashed. They must survive and kill the other contestants to win a place of safety.

Of course, all of the contestants are unlikeable and deserving of their fates, Ms. Quigley among them. 

        Their scenes are all shown through shaky, nauseating, personal body cams, or too-distant drone footage. And to make the drone footage more realistic, the much too loud and irritating drone noise is audible almost constantly.

To also appear like a TV game show, many scenes are show in only a fraction of the screen, with random, unexplained graphics or lit boxes shown alongside, making an already difficult to watch film actually more difficult!

The Trump footage was from actual press conferences until he described the zombie mutation. At this point, static partially concealed a superimposed mouth, while a poor imitation of him was dubbed in with the dialog. Another laugh from a movie NOT trying to be funny.

Oh, and P.S., if you are a fan of Donald Trump, prepare to dislike this even more, he is not portrayed here heroically.

So, from the lack of zombies, crappy CGI graphics, bad acting, no logic, unpleasant characters, uneven pacing, undeveloped plot, and the most cringe-inducing game-show host ever,  I must admit, I disliked this. A lot! It was not even fun to watch. But my wife wouldn’t let me turn it off, though. She was punishing me for making her watch this, and we were in it to the end!

But using the ZMR for a less personal rating, Zombie Games earned itself a generous 0.77 out of a possible score of 4. This gets itself an “Avoid At All Costs” recommendation.

    This deserves to be reiterated: Avoid this movie! Avert, bypass, circumvent, dodge, eschew, keep away from, refrain from, shirk, shun, steer clear of, and try to resist the temptation of watching it just to see how bad it could possibly be. Bad.

    If you wanna see Linnea Quigley in a Zombie movie, go watch ‘Return Of The Living Dead’ again.

This YouTube trailer is MORE than enough of this flick. ZOMBIE GAMES

Deadlocked, (2020)

 

A small, eclectic group of people, (including a cop and his perp in custody, a runaway, an aspiring actor, and a mechanical engineer,) all board the same elevator car just as strange things begin happening in the building.

And then, their elevator gets stuck.

Nothing new or groundbreaking here. Simply another zombie outbreak movie. But there is some good news! The undead in Deadlocked adhere fairly closely to the Rules of Romero: they are dead, stopped only by a brain hit, Zombism transference is through bodily fluids, the dead eat living flesh, and of course, slow and shambolic! Thank you for some canon. Oh sure, they are angry and growl, but this is forgivable if only due to the cool, herky-jerky, spasmodic manner in the dead walked. 

And the not so good? Well, the zombies aren’t the only thing moving slowly. The story crawls. What should be exciting moments are drawn out by flashbacks, (or even hallucinations!) rendering the film's flow, well, just boring.

But then again, the entire story is 1. Stuck in elevator, 2. Zombie Outbreak, 3. Escape elevator & Zombies… Now stretch it out to a feature film length. I guess some slower scenes are necessary... I just wish they didn't break up the action with them!

Nothing too original, fairly good undead, (despite a few inconsistencies in their behavior,) decent enough acting and clearly a bag of nickels-budget affair, so kudos for achieving what was done here. However, but with the entire cast being ’20 to 30 something-year-old, fit & good-looking, white people,’ I was certain this was a Canadian film school project. Maybe I am being overly analytical.

But my Zombie Movie Rubric is more objective than I, so, I ran Deadlocked through its gauntlet and got a bit of a surprise. Deadlocked earned itself a ZMR score of a solid 1.8 out of a possible 4 stars. This translates to a ‘just enough to scratch that Undead itch’ type of film.

YouTube Trailer, here: DEADLOCKED

Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula

    Four years have passed since to events portrayed in ‘Train To Busan,’ and the entire nation of South Korea is infected. A small group of survivors of that outbreak are presented with an opportunity to do a little looting in exchange for a big payout - half the plunder.

    Soon the team of four are deep in the city in search of a box truck loaded with duffle bags full of cash - U.S Dollars, to be precise. They are given directions, location of the truck, and the tools and weapons needed. 

    What seems like a very dangerous, but not too difficult mission becomes much more involved once resident survivors become part of the equation. And living in a country that is swarming with fast-moving undead, rules and society have changed as well. The team is quickly swept up in an ‘Escape From New York -style scenario where zombies are not the only threat.

    Importantly, Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula is NOT a sequel. It is just another story in that particular ‘universe,’ if you will. The only connection to Train To Busan is the zombie apocalypse in Korea. 

    And Peninsula is much more of an action film, with a lot of high-speed car chases, shootings and explosions. And while I can appreciate that when done well, (and a good bit of it IS done fairly well here, to be honest,) a lot of this comes across as formulaic. 

 

   The movie seems to borrow from a wide array of influences as well - Fast & Furious, The Walking Dead, and, of course, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. These are some great pieces of source material, true, but sadly, all of these elements don’t add up to a very original feel. 

    I know that every Zombie pic asks the viewer for some suspension of reality. One must accept that zombies exist, et cetera, to enjoy the movie. TtBP:P, however, really imposes on that request, though. (How a 14-year-old girl can ‘Tokyo Drift’ an SUV through streets crowded with old cars, burnt out buildings, and other assorted flotsam and jetsam to hit fast running zombies with pinpoint accuracy with ease and only casual concern sticks as one such example!)

But I nitpick.

    Let's talk about the dead. The zombies are runners - remaining true to form with the original film, but aside from that they appear to adhere to the other Rules Of Romero. 

    Transformation time from bitten to full-on zombism is inconsistent, though. Some in seconds, others much longer. (Depending on the character and the need for a tearful goodbye, apparently.)

    All of that action, the shoot-em-ups and run-em-downs, does keep the flick moving. And Peninsula moves at a decent clip, too, with exposition and backstories not taking away from the here and now. However, this pace tends to become a bit ‘samey’ after a while.

    The special effects are decent, as with Train, but more often than not, obscured with a cover of darkness, (both indoors and out!) However, as stated, the sense of horror is eclipsed by the sense of action here, and the FX are focused on that, too.

    The principle characters are well defined, and which side one should be rooting for is made abundantly clear. This time around, however, the heroes are not nearly all that engaging, and lack enough depth to care too much for them. On the other hand, the antagonists are suitably evil, and display little to no affability. Their villainy, though, is so over-the-top that they are bordering cartoonish.

 

   Despite what I have written, here, I did enjoy Busan’s Peninsula. No! Not NEARLY as much as the original. In fact, the two films are so different in nature that to compare them side-by-side is completely unfair. 

    However, just as Peninsula is set in a world where zombies are commonplace, this movie, too, just kind’ve felt generic. Nothing too original, and not really a standout from the middle of the ‘Living Dead’ field. Which is a shame as it’s predecessor was so amazing.

    But the middle of the pack is still much higher up in ratings than so many other z-flicks.

Which means it's time to consult The Zombie Movie Rubric, my angel of objectivity to keep personal peeves at bay! 

    So, with Film Quality, SPFX, Action/Pacing really buoying the rating that Originality and Characters were dragging down, the ZMR handed out a final grade of 2.11 out of 4.0. This equates to a watchable and enjoyable, if ultimately forgettable, entry into the whole zombie movie genre. 

     See the official trailer here on YouTube:

           TRAIN TO BUSAN PRESENTS: PENINSULA