Juan of the Dead, (2011)

It has been my experience that as a general rule of thumb, Zombie Comedies, (or "zomedies,") tend to suck. 

Oh sure, there are a couple of notable exceptions, like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, and Fido wasn't bad. But almost all of the others seem to have forgotten that a successful zomedie is a scary movie with comedic elements. There are many serious horror movies with humorous characters, and a good zombie-comedy simply shifts the balance a little.

Juan of the Dead, (yet another in my "Just Read The  Subtitles" series,) is just such a movie with just such a balance.

The story revolves around Juan, a forty-something Havana man and his best friend, Lázaro, along with a few others from the dog-eat-dog streets of Cuba's capital city's seedy side.

When reports of "dissidents paid by the US government" foreshadow the outbreaks of violent riots in homes, our hapless heroes accidentally incapacitate one of them, (by shooting him through the chest with a fishing speargun.) When this does not diminish the creature's drive, they test him for vampirism, (with multiple wooden stakes,) demonic possession, (with a wooden crucifix and some holy-sounding chants,) and would have tested for lycanthropy is they had silver to make a bullet. Or a gun to shoot it. 

It is out of frustration and dumb luck that they stumble upon the Romero rule of 'destroy the brain.'

Being opportunists and low-level con-men, they decide to start a business: "Juan of the Dead - We kill your loved ones." And for a while, business is booming.

Important note - This is NOT Shaun of the Dead, or anything like it! Many jokes here have a real raunchiness to them and a lot of the gratuitous killings are strictly for shock value, (but in a good way!)

Also, every now and again, one can find a subtle gag attacking the genre itself. During an orientation training for recruits, one student states that some are fast and some are slow. Juan replies with, "True! Does anyone know why that is?" When no one responds he turns to Lázaro and says, "What a pity. I was eager for someone to clarify that to me!"

So, there is a real darkness to the humor, but through it all we see Juan's connection with Cuba. He relates to its stubborn persistence and stoicism. He clearly loves his country and his life there. This really adds an element of sincerity among the dirty jokes and cartoony killings. It is almost as if this is the underlying love story of the film. Very touching.

So, obviously, I am a fan of this movie. (The subtitles didn't put me off a bit.) And according to my cold, robotic, grading system, the Zombie Movie Rubric, Juan of the Dead rang up a bang-on solid 3.5 out of 4.0, (Points, stars, skulls, whatever. Three and a half of them!) Which puts this right up there with the "Just go see 'em!" crowd.

For a teaser, here is the "official" trailer on the 'tubes: JUAN OF THE DEAD

Exit Humanity, (2011)

Set at the end of the American Civil War, Exit Humanity shows struggles and conflicts from both the living and the dead. And within one man’s self.

A found diary is the vehicle for this story, narrated as a voice-over, which allows for the thoughts and feelings of the author to be explained - important, as the first 15 to 20 minutes of this movie are him alone dealing with grief, rage, and hopelessness. It is NOT a ‘feel good’ film!

As a more linear storyline unfolds, a mission to follow and some other characters are introduced, the film shakes off a little of its oppressive gloom, and sees a little action take place.

Aside from the narration, said diary contained some illustrations. In the film, these were really well-done animations sequences in the style of journal drawings. They provide some nice explanations as to the properties of the undead, some action scenes, and maintain the feel of the story while bridging scenes together. I am sure they also saved a couple of bucks on the movie’s budget as well, but they don’t come off like short cuts.

As to those undead, they are almost straight up Romeros, (see ‘Zombie Classification Chart,) slow and stumbling, killed only with head shot, have an infectious bite, and eat the flesh of the living. (Occasionally growling, but infrequent enough for me to overlook.) My only real complaint with Exit Humanity’s zombies is that they are far too infrequently seen.

'Mostly Romeros.'

Another diary feature utilized here is the use of chapters. This was especially helpful to sort out the myriad of plot lines and objectives that arose as the film trudged along. Come Chapter Three, a main antagonists is introduced to shift the mood a bit, from crushingly depressing to that more of a righteous struggle. 

The villain! Bill Mosely as the Confederate General turned righteous madman!

Despite all of the plot devices in place to aid in the storytelling and passing of time, this is a slow-moving film. And racking up a runtime of just a whisper under two hours, it is NOT for those with shorter attention spans. And that is the movie’s biggest problem: the pacing. This, combined with the oppressively somber mood, make Exit Humanity difficult to sit through. 

And this is the irony. Exit Humanity scores so highly on my Zombie Movie Reviews Rubric in all other places: Originality, characters, SPFX, zombies, outbreak, acting, targeted audience, and budget, getting high points, with only the action/pacing slowing it down. Based solely on the ZMR Rubric, this earned itself an objective 3.4.

But as I feel the purpose of these reviews is to recommend Z films, or to not, I feel justified in including my personal rating here as well. I would personally score this movie just under a 2.5 out of 4 points. I enjoyed it, but found myself growing bored at various times. 

In the end, this gives Exit Humanity a composite score of 2.95. 

Still pretty good numbers!

And, of course, here is a LINK to a YouTube trailer for those interested in checking this one out for themselves.