28 Years Later, 2025

 

Well, the infection raged. And almost three decades later, Western Europe was cleared and Great Britain was quarantined to contain the virus, (again.) Survivors, unfortunately, were left on their own.

One small island community, accessible only by a fortified causeway that only appears at low tide, subsists through farming, fishing, hunting, and sharing resources.

One thing that is mandatory, however, is defense. And training is key. Being able to kill the enemy when the time comes is a rite of passage.

Spike is twelve, and his dad feels that he is ready for his first kill. They venture out confidently, but after encountering fat, slow, crawling infected, and then running, snarling rage-filled ones, and finally something called an ‘Alpha,’ the father son duo barely make it back to the island.

Here on that island, life is quaint, folkish, and anachronistic, (and if it weren’t for the threat of the homicidal mainlanders wanting to kill, eat, and savage you, kinda desirable!) Technology is medieval, with no computers, radios, or even firearms. Bows and arrows are the chief weapons of defense of the uninfected, maybe a knife. The best key to survival is staying away from the mainland.

But Spike’s mom is sick, not infected, mind you. Just not well. So, when Spike hears of a doctor still alive out there in the wilderness, he makes a desperate choice to return with her. Here’s where the meat and potatoes of the story begins.

The Zomb…, I mean, ‘infected,’ are the sort from the previous two ’28’ movies: angry, growling, and thoroughly without mind, mercy, or conscious. This time however, we see three distinct varieties. The “Slow and Low,” are fat, crawl on the ground, and seem to get by feeding on worms, grubs, and assorted insects, but they will certainly' swerve up on a human should the opportunity arise. 

Then are your standard infected. Coordinated runners who sprint all out, all the time. They kill with hands and teeth, biting and eating, (and thusly, like the chubby crawlers, spread the virus.) They typically travel in hordes, day or night.

Finally, are the “Alphas.” They are huge. Extra tall and muscular, and require many more strikes to damage or slow them down. They also are seemingly more evolved. There is some degree of patience and planning with Alphas, but Boy! They can still boogie! And a full-tilt sprint from a jacked 6’ 6” dude with violent murder in his eyes is not what one wants bearing down on them!

All of the infected are unarmed, filthy, and naked. But with ‘rage’ as the only emotion, humility, hygiene, and fashion-sense seems to just fall by the wayside. This creates an even further distinction between the humans and the animalistic infected. It also adds a nice touch of ‘monsterishness.’

The protagonists are interesting, too. Their way of survival, customs, and responsibilities is portrayed well, and one understands the demands of their culture. Important to add that no one is overtly duplicitous or mean, despite personal faults.

So, let’s get to the ratings. The acting is convincing all around, both from sick and healthy, and the effects, (although sometimes surprising extra bloody,) is believable. And the movie moves along at a decent pace. According to my Zombie Movie Rubric, (and for all intents, we’re rating them as ‘zombies,’ since running zombies have blurred that line.) 28 Years Later earned itself a 3.1, out of a possible 4 stars, (Points? Thumbs-up? Never DID make that distinction, did I? But I digress.)        

    Although not as shockingly different and awesome as ’28 Days’ nor as dramatically engaging as ’28 Weeks,’ ’28 Years Later’ still rings in with a solid recommendation!

A coupla' nice trailers to view on IMDb ☞ 28 YEARS LATER

ZombieHood, 2014

    The story is a basic one: In Nottingham, England, an unexplained outbreak of Zombism forces random survivors to work together. 

    ZombieHood, however, starts off in a very different manner. Through a series of random and frequently quite graphic attacks, a core group of survivors comes together. Sounds simple enough, but throughout these attack scenes, a survivor is not guaranteed. Many of these scenes do nothing more than to display the ubiquitous nature of the outbreak. Others simply to remind the viewer that a zombie attack is a very bloody, gory and unpleasant affair!

    Among the living cast are two friends who escaped an outbreak in a nightclub, a guy who was trying to pick one of them up, a gun-toting bad boy, a cop, an old man, and a little girl. Occasionally, one of these people dies, and someone else comes along. 

   You see, and I liked this - I don’t know if its because these are all local actors and not big name stars, but NO cast member is safe. If a person is out in a zombie apocalypse, that person has a really good chance of not seeing the end credits. So, no stars, no guarantees.

    The zombies are Romeros in nature and adhere fairly strictly to the Rules of Romero. Their make-up and effects was also pretty decent - Surprisingly so for a smaller-budget film. And some of  killings these ghouls do is of a very, graphic nature, (the tub scene, while not so gory, had screams that were absolutely convincing… until they turned into gurgles. Nothing like an attack when you’re at your most vulnerable.)

    ZombieHood chugs along at a good clip, propelled by further, if not necessarily related attacks from the undead on the unsuspecting. No slow backstory development here or grieving scenes. This is a “He is already dead! Let’s move!!!”-type of movie.

    Critiques are few: The plot line is fairly non-existent, the characters aren’t given time to be developed, (the trade-off price in favor of a fast-paced film, I guess,) and the sound quality varies scene to scene. With all this said, and despite the local, non-big-name actors, and smaller budget, ZombieHood doesn’t carry too much of that 'Low Budget' feel.

My Zombie Movie Reviews Rubric board seemed impressed, too! Held up to its cold, unblinking eye of judgement and ZombieHood scored a solid 2.5 points out of a possible 4. This translates into a better than average, recommendable, re-watchable little addition to any zombie fans personal library of undead films. 

    And, of course, YouTube has a trailer to further pique the interest: ZOMBIEHOOD

 

   For a second opinion, or just some further research, check the flick out at zombiehood.co.uk or at the movies Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/Zombie-Hood-232575326768828/

Knights of the Damned, 2017

    On a quest from their king to slay a dragon, a squadron, (Platoon? Troupe?) a DOZEN knights are reduced to three, and push on, tracking the beast across the lands.

    Along the way, they hear tales of ‘Furies,’ dead people who have risen back up to attack the living. The trio of knights’ mission takes a detour and they choose to rid the king’s land of this new plague.

    End synopsis.

    To get it out there straightaway, this is NOT a horror movie. It is ‘Game of Thrones’ / King Arthur-style fantasy/adventure… With Zombies. (But also with dragons, Amazonian-like warrior women, a power-mad prince, and, some reason, mermaid sirens. Sure, why not?)

    The zombie storyline appears very shortly after the knights encounter the dragon, which is a really good thing because, well, the dragon CGI is pretty bad.

    To be fair, though, ‘pretty bad’ is really where this movie hovers all the way though. 

    To this point, I could very easily knock its acting, its poor dialog, its shaky hand-held camera shots, its completely unnecessary scenes, its unconvincing, 2-dimensional characters, a multitude of anachronisms, et cetera, et cetera, but as a zombie movie, I would rather give it mercy and keep my review to the zombie bits.

Lots of 'zombie chest kicking!'

 

   Actually, I was a little excited for a Medieval knights versus the undead film. Not all that many Zombie apocalypses set back in time like that, (I mean, with the glaring exception of Game of Thrones.)

So, I did appreciate that.

As for the zombies themselves, or ‘Furies’ as the villagers called them, they were not consistent to The Rules of Romero aside from a) being dead, and b) the transfer of zombism by bites. 

    With the exception of the biting, there was no real evidence of the dead eating the living, and the zombies were dispatched in multiple ways, not just head shots. 

    The Zombies were inconsistent to themselves, too, denying any form of classification. 

    At some times, these Furies would be staggering around all Romero-esque, at others, they would run. Some used swords or axes, (and properly!) One even cleared a fence in a smooth Parkour fashion.

    So, the dragon was just a plot device with only a few actually minutes of screen time, the big mouth local at the bar added nothing to the film, and the entire mermaids scene should’ve been left on the editing room floor. But these things weren’t edited out. It seems like they were intentionally tossed in to add a few more fantasy elements to an otherwise flat storyline. And then, the whole affair just ground to a halt with a cliffhanger ‘ending,’ and a 'to be continued.' 

    (The conclusion sequel came out a year later under the name ‘The Dark Kingdom.’)

    Now the really hard thing for me to write… I kind’ve liked it.

    Oh, I will freely admit it was NOT a good movie, and its placement here in a zombie movie reviews page is contestable, but it I found it to be silly fun that went well with a late night and a few beers. 

    The ZMR, (my Zombie Movie Rubric,) however, is a sober and unemotional rating scale that often robs me of my subjectivity! Held up to its unflinching scrutiny, Knights of the Damned got itself a whopping 1.66 out of a possible 4.0 points.    

    This does NOT earn the film much of a recommendation.

    But here is a YouTube trailer for your own consideration: KNIGHTS OF THE DAMNED

    Be warned, the trailer shows some scenes that were not in the film. I can only assume they are from the sequel.

So, yeah, a low-scorer, but I do not regret watching it… 

    I do think I will take a pass on it’s sequel, though.

Outpost (2008)

    Ray Stevenson is hired to assemble a team of battle-hardened mercenaries to escort their mysterious money-man into the Eastern European wilderness in search of “Minerals.” Easy-peasy, 48 hours round trip. 

    Well, ‘minerals’ turns out to be Nazi Gold and the location is an old, underground  German bunker. And, shortly thereafter, unknown enemy fire from without forces the squad to hole up and fortify the old bunker.

    Soon, what started out as a very ‘Predator’-like film, (“Get to de CHOPPA!!!”), becomes a haunted house ghost story, complete with silent ghostly apparitions! 

    Then, as the inevitable siege gets setting in full-swing, FINALLY! The Nazi Zombies are tagged in!

    Oh, they may have ghost-like qualities, but these shock-troopers kill with bullets, bayonets, and even a pickaxe!

And, although these Zs seem unstoppable, invulnerable, and in overwhelming numbers, a plausible plan for defeating them is in place and hopes are high! But the time is short, and the undead have breached the bunker!

    Outpost’s action scenes are really good, if sporadic. There are periods of slow exposition and atmosphere-building, and then suddenly and briefly, some violence and gore, then back to storyline. The squad works well as a team and although there is some hamming, the mercs are convincingly portrayed. 

    The undead are, of course, Nazi Zombies, and therefore need not adhere to the Rules of Romero. Instead, at times appear as if ghosts, others, as silent soldiers following orders. There is a commanding officer Nazi Z, but he, too, is utterly silent.

    The movie setting, deep in a wilderness, surrounded by forest, and filmed in under-saturated, washed-out colors, provides great mood - very bleak and soullessly utilitarian. Perfectly befitting a clash between two armed forces in Eastern Europe.

    Yeah, I enjoyed this one, but I am such a sucker for a well-done Nazi Undead flick. If, instead, you place your trust in the cold heartlessness of maths, then there is The Zombie Movies Rubric to convince you. When held up to the ZMR, OUTPOST earned itself a 2.55 out of 4.0 points. And although that is a pretty good rating, I may’ve been a bit more generous!

Either way, if you dig your walking dead with a pinch of goose-stepping WWII evil, you should enjoy OUTPOST. 

Of course, YouTube has a trailer to further help you decide! OUTPOST

    Two sequels to follow - reviews coming soon!

 

Dead Set (2008)

  Think of a TV show that you’d like to see a zombie outbreak occur during: The Sopranos? The Brady Bunch? Duck Dynasty? What about Big Brother? Well, that’s what this one is about. And it isn’t an episode or a movie, its a miniseries. Bitchin!

   For those unfamiliar with Big Brother, it is a reality show in which a number of contestants live in a custom-made house isolated fro the outside world and watched over by "Big Brother," the producers and viewing audience. A regular "eviction night" sees a contestant voted off by the viewing public and a "24-hour Live Feed" allows constant monitoring of the goings on and misadventures of the test subjects... I mean, "contestants." Originally a British program it has gone on to worldwide production and has achieved an unfathomable global following. Now you know.

   Yup. Five 30-minute episodes of Great Britain’s most popular reality show just happened to take place as the apocalypse hit. The result is simply brilliant.

   And that’s your scenario. The series starts at “Day 64” of the isolated, one-house, “social experiment” where the outside world no longer exists to the contestants and they are all caught up in their petty, encapsulated lives, completely unaware that the world has stopped.

   An employee of the show manages to escape the deluge of running snarling undead attackers onto the closed-off set and informs the hapless contestants. It takes one of the undead to break in and do some zombie-esque damage, (the kind only a zombie can wreak on the uninformed, panicky, incredulous, and self-absorbed,) to let the situation sink in. 

   The show has a great sense of pacing, ending each episode on a point of both set-up and closure, just enough of each to force you to tune in, (or ‘binge watch,’ if you happen to be a zombie film fanatic. And if you are, then welcome, Brother!) 

   The characters are both annoying and realistic, but the REALLY annoying ones are much made less-so by an obnoxious producer, (played to the suffocating hilt by Andy Nyman!) and his running commentary on them. He is so intolerant of the contestants that it really makes you feel bad for them and their lack of graces. Ingenius device. Truly.

    Okay. The zombies run. There: I said it. For those that do not know, I dislike running zombies. The dead should be dead-like: slow and uncoordinated, as George Romero decreed. Not running and growling like animals. I realize there are different schools on this, so I don’t harp on this fact. Plus, in this case, they work. This show needed the fast-paced-type of dead to make this work. Also, very convincing and gory. In essence, great zombies. Go figure.

    Heroes, villains, zombies, subplots, a definitive story line, and decent acting. It must be because it was a 'made for BBC4 TV' that this is such an overlooked gem in this country. 

    So, I held it up to the cold, grey truth of the unforgiving eye of the Zombie Movie Rubric and it was deemed worthy of a 3.5 out of a possible 4.0! Serious stuff. That puts Dead Set in the 'repeated views' and 'highly recommended' categories.

   But, If you are NOT the type who likes to own-and-loan, (or simply ‘lord over’ friends and fam,) then GOOD NEWS! The five episodes are findable and viewable on them YouTubes-things! In fact, as I was looking for a trailer for this review, I had to wade through them all to find it. (Your welcome, BTW.)

Trailer: Here ☞ DEAD SET

   Worthy of extra mention: Andy Nyman steals every scene as an absolutely intolerable bastard of a producer. Such a great character, but Davina McCall, the long time presenter of the actual show, turns in a surprisingly convincing performance as both herself alive, and herself dead and full-on zombie menace!

Yup, that's Davina McCall.

Gangsters, Guns, and Zombies (2012)

   What better distraction for a bank heist than the zombie apocalypse? At least that was the plan for London bank robbers Tony, Q, Pat Muscles and Crazy Steve before things awry.

   Starting in the middle of the action allows G,G,& Z to kick off with a bang and keeps going strong. The use of chapters and occasional narration of one of the main stars assists the flow of the story. And of course, that old chestnut vehicle of T.V. and radio news reports helps to explain the situation outside of the immediate action.

   Also provided to create a fuller picture of the outbreak are plenty of ‘cut-to’ scenes, showing a goodly amount of zombie gore and attacks, which, although grisly in nature keep most of the real gore just outside the frame. Many of these asides display a very sick sense of humor that certain twisted zombie film fans, (like myself,) can appreciate: A bride and her maids attacking her groom, the attack of an undead horde of clowns, a casual debate about if a particular zombie is eating a cat or a fox. Y’know. Stuff like that.

   Okay, true. The zombies’ make-up consisted mostly of pale skin with blood stains, but since there weren't that many real zombie close-ups, this minimalist approach works well enough. Also, the zombies ran, (well, most of them,) so this also kept the need for undead details to a low dose. Now, I am not a major fan of running undead in a strictly ‘animated recently-deceased’ scenario, but in the less populated scenes later in the movie, the speed of the dead helps to keep the threat level up, where shamblers could have been simply avoided.

   But it's the characters themselves that carry this movie. They are likable, and engaging, and fun-to-watch, (although, hardly “gangsters.”) Yes, criminals, but still, worth rooting for. Most importantly, none of the characters are cartoony or stupid. In fact, to call this a typical “zom-com” would be doing it a disservice. I mean, it IS funny. But, the undead threat is real and lethal and the characters are serious and have a straightforward mission. Where the humor comes in is a very organic manipulation of perspective. I really enjoyed it. Think of Reservoir Dogs meets 28 Days Later with just a splash Shaun of the Dead. Only a little more light-hearted.

   My Zombie Movie Rubric scored Gangsters, Guns, and Zombies as a solid 3.0, making it a respectable entry into the genre and a really enjoyable movie night selection.

   The full-length film is available of the Mighty Tubes of You, but I am only including a trailer to whet your appetite: GANGSTERS, GUNS, AND ZOMBIES

Cheerio!

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, (2016)

   Few things can make a movie more tolerable like low expectations. The lion’s share of these expectations and preconceived opinions for me stem primarily from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ trailers - Looking so much like a ‘Hansel and Gretel,’ (2013) or  ‘Van Helsing,’ (2004) or ‘Brothers Grimm,’ (2005) or any other classically-based story ‘modernized’ for today’s audiences, with hip, and stylish young actors looking cool and engaging in all sorts of parkour-esque moves while glibly dispensing witticisms. 

    Okay, I admit, I have NOT seen any of those films, so it isn’t fair of me to judge, but those are the reasons why I won’t. 

   To my great surprise, however, ‘P&P&Z’ does not play like one of those blatantly anachronistic examples of millennial-targeting cinema. Moreover, it attempts to maintain some sort of an albeit tenuous grasp on Jane Austen’s original storyline, following the five Bennet sisters’ pursuit of an appropriate, socially-mobile, husband before their spinster years of the late twenties.

     The obvious difference in the story is the whole ‘zombie apocalypse’ thing that’s going on. Which, to be honest, has a cool backstory of its own. 

     Through an illustrated narrative, it is revealed that in the alternative reality in which Pride And Prejudice And Zombies is set has been dealing with the zombie virus for close to a century. Structures, fortifications, and general precautions are commonplace as the undead are now a part of life. This provides a nice element in the film with the living discussing the undead in an almost blasé manner, such as the family talking about how to remove zombie blood from marble.

The main cast is so entrenched in the prim and proper Regency Period-styles and mannerisms that the contrast of zombie fighting seems pretty far-fetched. But the story does mention the training of young people in the arts of the East as part of a “proper education,” as a way to blend these skills into the whole period’s mentality.

    I was particularly impressed with the choice of zombie styles in this movie: Russo-style zombies, a la ‘Return of the Living Dead.’ A rarely seen zombie type in films these days, ‘Russos’ (See my Zombie Classification Chart for more on this!) can talk, think and even set traps for the living. They attempt to blend into society for the sole purpose of feeding on people. Heck, they even feast on brains! That last part plays a key role in the film, too, with a small creative departure from the Russo-style.

    Lastly, former-Time Lord Matt Smith absolutely steals every scene he is in. His foppish Parson Collins provides some comic relief without being blatant or cartoonish.

    So, yeah! I enjoyed this entry into the genre, against my expectations! I then held it up to my Zombie Movies Rubric and found it scored an admirable 2.75 out of 4, uh, Stars? Points? Bites? (I should really have a scoring standard in place.) 

    In any case, 2.75 translates to a “definitely worth a rental” recommendation. 

Slightly too hip and stylish music-video-style trailer from the YouTubes: PRIDE & PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES

Aw, heck! Have another:
 PRIDE & PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES