The Alien Dead (1980)

    A fistful-of-nickels budget American zombie film from 1980!?! Oh, I’m in!

   So, apparently, a meteor strikes a houseboat and turns all aboard into zombies, who in turn, eat all the alligators. And when they run out of alligators, they start to eat the locals of this small Florida town. We, the viewers, tune in after all of the alligators have been missing for a couple of months, and the first resident is taken. A local reporter, a fish & game warden, and a couple of police, (pronounced PŌ-lice,) investigate as incidents increase in frequency.

    What we get from this is a snapshot of small-town redneck Americana on par with Boggy Creek, (minus the budget and acting skills.) Some of the accents are amazingly horrible, but they’re dialogue seems genuinely swamptrotting, hillbilly lingo, and as convincing as one can expect when recited by actors of the stature of non-professional-bordering-on-terrible (with the exception of Buster Crabbe, in his last role, as the hard-nosed sheriff.)

   Weak premise, bad acting, and amateur special effects aside, this is a surprisingly straight-forward and easy story to follow. The misleading, (and frankly, stupid,) name, ‘The Alien Dead,’ only implies that the undead were caused by the meteor. No aliens were employed in this film whatsoever! This is a strictly a zombie movie.

     And those zombies here are mostly Romeros, (slow moving, and flesh eating,) but no transference of zombism by a bite was shown, and a zombie was killed but a speargun shot through the chest, so the Rules of Romero are not firmly followed.

      Also, these are semi-sub-aquatic zombies, reminiscent of those Nazi zombies in 1977’s ‘Shock Wave,’ (on which The Alien Dead’s director/screenwriter Fred Olen Ray also worked!) This does make for some fairly bloodless kills, but the movie does not fear going for some attempt at gore.

    And HOLY MOLY!!! Bonus points for being the first and only zombie movie for a ‘death by fro-comb' scene!

    Filmed on an incredibly low budget, (allegedly $12,000.US dollars,) and went straight to drive-ins or VHS, The Alien Dead had bad acting, (again, except for Buster Crabbe!) bad special effects, a weak explanation for the outbreak, unengaging characters, poor film quality, and was clearly aimed at fans of recent late 70s zombie films, but somehow, despite all of these flaws, (or who knows, maybe because of them,) I enjoyed this movie a lot. The corny yokels with their redneck dialogue being overacted by Acting 101 dropouts somehow… worked for me. And I would rate this higher than the score it received when held up to my Zombie Movie Review Rubric - That heartless device scored it at a 1.2 points out of a possible 4. And maybe it deserves that grade, I mean, it WAS really bad. But I liked it!

Check out this YouTube trailer for yourself:

 THE ALIEN DEAD

Dead Set (2008)

  Think of a TV show that you’d like to see a zombie outbreak occur during: The Sopranos? The Brady Bunch? Duck Dynasty? What about Big Brother? Well, that’s what this one is about. And it isn’t an episode or a movie, its a miniseries. Bitchin!

   For those unfamiliar with Big Brother, it is a reality show in which a number of contestants live in a custom-made house isolated fro the outside world and watched over by "Big Brother," the producers and viewing audience. A regular "eviction night" sees a contestant voted off by the viewing public and a "24-hour Live Feed" allows constant monitoring of the goings on and misadventures of the test subjects... I mean, "contestants." Originally a British program it has gone on to worldwide production and has achieved an unfathomable global following. Now you know.

   Yup. Five 30-minute episodes of Great Britain’s most popular reality show just happened to take place as the apocalypse hit. The result is simply brilliant.

   And that’s your scenario. The series starts at “Day 64” of the isolated, one-house, “social experiment” where the outside world no longer exists to the contestants and they are all caught up in their petty, encapsulated lives, completely unaware that the world has stopped.

   An employee of the show manages to escape the deluge of running snarling undead attackers onto the closed-off set and informs the hapless contestants. It takes one of the undead to break in and do some zombie-esque damage, (the kind only a zombie can wreak on the uninformed, panicky, incredulous, and self-absorbed,) to let the situation sink in. 

   The show has a great sense of pacing, ending each episode on a point of both set-up and closure, just enough of each to force you to tune in, (or ‘binge watch,’ if you happen to be a zombie film fanatic. And if you are, then welcome, Brother!) 

   The characters are both annoying and realistic, but the REALLY annoying ones are much made less-so by an obnoxious producer, (played to the suffocating hilt by Andy Nyman!) and his running commentary on them. He is so intolerant of the contestants that it really makes you feel bad for them and their lack of graces. Ingenius device. Truly.

    Okay. The zombies run. There: I said it. For those that do not know, I dislike running zombies. The dead should be dead-like: slow and uncoordinated, as George Romero decreed. Not running and growling like animals. I realize there are different schools on this, so I don’t harp on this fact. Plus, in this case, they work. This show needed the fast-paced-type of dead to make this work. Also, very convincing and gory. In essence, great zombies. Go figure.

    Heroes, villains, zombies, subplots, a definitive story line, and decent acting. It must be because it was a 'made for BBC4 TV' that this is such an overlooked gem in this country. 

    So, I held it up to the cold, grey truth of the unforgiving eye of the Zombie Movie Rubric and it was deemed worthy of a 3.5 out of a possible 4.0! Serious stuff. That puts Dead Set in the 'repeated views' and 'highly recommended' categories.

   But, If you are NOT the type who likes to own-and-loan, (or simply ‘lord over’ friends and fam,) then GOOD NEWS! The five episodes are findable and viewable on them YouTubes-things! In fact, as I was looking for a trailer for this review, I had to wade through them all to find it. (Your welcome, BTW.)

Trailer: Here ☞ DEAD SET

   Worthy of extra mention: Andy Nyman steals every scene as an absolutely intolerable bastard of a producer. Such a great character, but Davina McCall, the long time presenter of the actual show, turns in a surprisingly convincing performance as both herself alive, and herself dead and full-on zombie menace!

Yup, that's Davina McCall.

Gangsters, Guns, and Zombies (2012)

   What better distraction for a bank heist than the zombie apocalypse? At least that was the plan for London bank robbers Tony, Q, Pat Muscles and Crazy Steve before things awry.

   Starting in the middle of the action allows G,G,& Z to kick off with a bang and keeps going strong. The use of chapters and occasional narration of one of the main stars assists the flow of the story. And of course, that old chestnut vehicle of T.V. and radio news reports helps to explain the situation outside of the immediate action.

   Also provided to create a fuller picture of the outbreak are plenty of ‘cut-to’ scenes, showing a goodly amount of zombie gore and attacks, which, although grisly in nature keep most of the real gore just outside the frame. Many of these asides display a very sick sense of humor that certain twisted zombie film fans, (like myself,) can appreciate: A bride and her maids attacking her groom, the attack of an undead horde of clowns, a casual debate about if a particular zombie is eating a cat or a fox. Y’know. Stuff like that.

   Okay, true. The zombies’ make-up consisted mostly of pale skin with blood stains, but since there weren't that many real zombie close-ups, this minimalist approach works well enough. Also, the zombies ran, (well, most of them,) so this also kept the need for undead details to a low dose. Now, I am not a major fan of running undead in a strictly ‘animated recently-deceased’ scenario, but in the less populated scenes later in the movie, the speed of the dead helps to keep the threat level up, where shamblers could have been simply avoided.

   But it's the characters themselves that carry this movie. They are likable, and engaging, and fun-to-watch, (although, hardly “gangsters.”) Yes, criminals, but still, worth rooting for. Most importantly, none of the characters are cartoony or stupid. In fact, to call this a typical “zom-com” would be doing it a disservice. I mean, it IS funny. But, the undead threat is real and lethal and the characters are serious and have a straightforward mission. Where the humor comes in is a very organic manipulation of perspective. I really enjoyed it. Think of Reservoir Dogs meets 28 Days Later with just a splash Shaun of the Dead. Only a little more light-hearted.

   My Zombie Movie Rubric scored Gangsters, Guns, and Zombies as a solid 3.0, making it a respectable entry into the genre and a really enjoyable movie night selection.

   The full-length film is available of the Mighty Tubes of You, but I am only including a trailer to whet your appetite: GANGSTERS, GUNS, AND ZOMBIES

Cheerio!

Last Ones Out, (2016)

In southern Africa, Henry, an American tourist, goes in for an operation. Just before the surgery, however, a zombie outbreak takes place leaving him alone on the operating table, in the dark, and unable to move.

With the help of a young doctor and a couple of hospital staff, Henry is whisked out of the undead-infested hospital and onto a pickup truck headed out of town.

Through a found satellite phone, Henry learns from his less-than affectionate fiancé that there is an evacuation point in the nearby town of Harbel. So the group sets out across the country in hopes of catching the convoy out.

As luck would have it, just as their pickup's gas tank is drained, Henry’s appendix needs emergency tending-to on the fly. But an impromptu, broken-glass scalpel, pool-table appendectomy is such a success, he is up and running from the undead within the day, and we’re back into the action. 

(Okay, I realize that some suspension of reality is required to enjoy a zombie apocalypse film, but, Come On! Having your belly cut into under the most hygienic and careful conditions leaves some abdominal pain. Running, fighting, and helping to carry another man within 24 hours of such a hurried and desperate procedure is asking a lot from the audience to overlook! Jus' sayin.')

Well, some betrayal, some ulterior motives, and some inter-character tension among the fleeing foursome provides some interesting drama, (assumedly to cover for the shortage of actual zombies!) and help to reshape certain characters’ personalities.

As the changing collection of survivors pushes on, and a fairly linear story of the ‘get to the extraction point’-class evolves, things settle into a standard zombie survival road movie.

The zombies are of the growling, running variety and of pretty decent quality at that, but sadly, are just too few and far between - even in what appeared to be a fairly densely-settled township.

Convincing acting from both living and dead, excellent production quality and an exotic location, help balance out the lack of an original story, (and honestly, the whole appendectomy-thing could have been omitted completely without any loss to the story.)

         ZMR scoring saw Last Ones Out earning itself a 2.78 out of a possible 4.0. This equates to a worthwhile and enjoyable viewing, (despite my complaints,) and a welcome addition to my Zombie Movie library.

And, of course, YouTube has a pretty enticing trailer to further tempt those on the fence: LAST ONES OUT