Zombie Games, 2020

  It’s 2021 and the Corona Virus has mutated. People are dying only to turn into zombies and attack people. U.S. President Donald Trump proposes a solution - His underground bunker, ‘Little Washington,’ can hold 250,000 people, so he creates a ‘skills-based’ competition to see who can join him in there for safety, while the army nukes the country. 

Oh, and produced, directed, and starring Linnea Quigley!

I know! Right!?! A nice original premise with a promise of something interesting. 

        Yeah. That’s the bait. The switch: This turd. The idea in the synopsis above is the only good thing about this movie.

First, the zombies: Scenes of the undead were clearly computer generated and their inconsistencies imply that they were copied from other sources. Video game zombies were more realistic looking 15 years ago! Plus the undead only really appear in the exposition "News Reel" portion at the start of the movie.

That's right! There are no zombies in the games!!!

Speaking of the games - There were only 6 contestants. Yes. SIX! They are released into wooded area where a knife, a gun, and a bottle of water are stashed. They must survive and kill the other contestants to win a place of safety.

Of course, all of the contestants are unlikeable and deserving of their fates, Ms. Quigley among them. 

        Their scenes are all shown through shaky, nauseating, personal body cams, or too-distant drone footage. And to make the drone footage more realistic, the much too loud and irritating drone noise is audible almost constantly.

To also appear like a TV game show, many scenes are show in only a fraction of the screen, with random, unexplained graphics or lit boxes shown alongside, making an already difficult to watch film actually more difficult!

The Trump footage was from actual press conferences until he described the zombie mutation. At this point, static partially concealed a superimposed mouth, while a poor imitation of him was dubbed in with the dialog. Another laugh from a movie NOT trying to be funny.

Oh, and P.S., if you are a fan of Donald Trump, prepare to dislike this even more, he is not portrayed here heroically.

So, from the lack of zombies, crappy CGI graphics, bad acting, no logic, unpleasant characters, uneven pacing, undeveloped plot, and the most cringe-inducing game-show host ever,  I must admit, I disliked this. A lot! It was not even fun to watch. But my wife wouldn’t let me turn it off, though. She was punishing me for making her watch this, and we were in it to the end!

But using the ZMR for a less personal rating, Zombie Games earned itself a generous 0.77 out of a possible score of 4. This gets itself an “Avoid At All Costs” recommendation.

    This deserves to be reiterated: Avoid this movie! Avert, bypass, circumvent, dodge, eschew, keep away from, refrain from, shirk, shun, steer clear of, and try to resist the temptation of watching it just to see how bad it could possibly be. Bad.

    If you wanna see Linnea Quigley in a Zombie movie, go watch ‘Return Of The Living Dead’ again.

This YouTube trailer is MORE than enough of this flick. ZOMBIE GAMES

Dead Eyes Open, 2006

  A group of friends celebrate their graduation by ditching their cell phones, laptops and tech, and going on a wilderness getaway. Destination: Empty Gas Tank. Soon, they find themselves by a remote forest near a river for some camping and fishing.

While stepping off to pee, one of the group, Christin, meets a woman carrying a shovel looking for her husband to bring him home. A little later, she returns to the group with a story of being bitten by that man.

The following day, the young group enjoy their surroundings: fishing, swimming, cards by the fire, et cetera. Then, just as a small stack of leaflets gets hooked on the line, (with warning of attacks from the deceased, BTW,) Christin screams from her sleep. And boy! Is she is looking rough! They decide to cut the vaca short, find the house Christin spoke of, and hopefully, get some help! 

As the small group changes, little by little, from vacationers to banquet items, they realize they chose a bad time for a road trip.

Shot in Ultra-Low quality, 8mm film, with graininess and splices, and occasional color changes, Dead Eyes Open seems like a a lost, unrestored, movie from the early '70s, despite the cellphones, styles, et cetera. This ragged film quality actually adds to the atmosphere, (as well as makes special effects and make-up seem more convincing!

Also, the movie is in German, with subtitles. This may actually help to hide any acting shortcomings from the living cast, (not that I noticed any). But the story is straightforward enough - what dialog there is isn’t overly intrinsic to the movie.

Despite the dated effects, or more likely, due to them, Dead Eyes Open has a great, creepy feel to it. Some decent suspense and scares, and enough blood and gore to scratch any Z-fans itch.

I think a lot of decisions in making this were quite clever. There is an overall feel of a vintage horror movie here, and the inclusion of the TV Scientist, played by George A. Romero, himself, is inspired!

    But how does this subtitled, Super-8 sleeper stack up against The Zombie Movie Rubric? Well, buoyed by the cast of characters and the ‘straight-up Romeros’ zombies, but dragged back down by special effects and film quality, (be it accidental or calculated,) the ZMR gave Dead Eyes Open a rating of 2.3 out of 4 points! Which is above average and worthy of a recommendation!

R.I.P. Studios Trailer on ze "DuRohr" here: DEAD EYES OPEN

P.S. - R.I.P.  Productions seem to have a few more 'Old School" zombie films! Here is there website:  rip-independent.de