The Dead Don't Die, (2019)

        This was not an easy review to write. I mean, a huge budget, massively talented cast of veteran actors, and a seasoned writer do a zombie movie… Surefire success, yes?

Uh, I mean, well… Kinda?

So, jumping right into it, something called ‘Polar Fracking’ causes the Earth to somehow slow its rotation, which in turn, somehow causes the dead to reanimate. A stretch? Yeah, don’t think about it. Fortunately, the whole environmental aspect isn’t delved into too much here, and preachiness is kept to a minimum.

Unfortunately, that’s kinda the whole story.

        Although all of these strange occurrences are reportedly global, all of the action in ‘The Dead Don’t Die’ takes place in the small town of Centerville, USA, with its one motel, one diner, and three-person police force. And what’s more, everyone in or visiting this small town is portrayed by someone with a fairly decent acting résumé!

The entire Centerville police force!

        This right here leads to my first complaint: The pacing. An awful lot of time is devoted to introducing characters, and then giving them the screen time worthy of such big-name stars. In fact, it often seems like scenes were written specifically to accommodate certain members of the cast. As one can imagine, this can slow down a story.

When The Dead Don’t Die flexes its horror side, there are some good scares. The zombies are essentially Romeros, (See Zombie Classification Chart,), or rather, later Romeros, in that they gravitate towards things they knew when they were alive. In this film, though, the dead apparently verbalize said importance. Kinda like Russos said “Brains,” these Zs say their own inner craving from life. A small change, but it does give each of the undead a bit more personality, (if personality is what one seeks in a zombie,) instead of just machete-fodder for a quick gore quotient.

Some neat-o cemetery scenes!

       When the humor is in the spotlight, the film tends to stumble between deadpan, (a Bill Murray strength!) and the absurd, or the old ‘breaking the fourth wall’ gag. But all in all, the humor just seemed like a private joke between the cast and crew, upon which I was just eavesdropping. I can envision the chuckles and belly-laughs of the actors as they were performing this, (and I am sure there is an enormous gags & outtakes reel somewhere,) and I’m certain making this movie was fun.

That may be my biggest critique: It feels like this movie was made for fun. Not the movie was MADE to be fun, but that the making of it was the fun! It sorta seemed like a group project for old friends to have a laugh or two and a zombie film was the by-product. Like a really exciting drive to a fairly mundane location, but we just met up with them there.

Of course, my Zombie Movie Rubric, (from which my movie reviews get their grades,) disagrees with me! When held up to its criteria, The Dead Don’t Die earns itself a 3.11 out of a possible 4.0 - with top points for acting, budget, zombies, special effects, and characters. With only pacing, targeted audiences and originality taking bruises.

So, based on its ZMR score, The Dead Don’t Die is a success. And maybe my disappointment is my own fault. I DID expect big things with this cast and budget. See it for yourself and decide. There is, of course, a trailer on YouTube, (HERE,) to help you decide!